We all want to live our lives to the fullest, but how?

Do it Today!

Since you are reading my post now, I am sure that you are, just as I am, eager to make the most out of this precious life and want to know how. I, just like you, have the same exact question, and am desperately looking for the answer.

I am most certain that you have been reading a lot of books and blogs on personal growth, “be positive, charge forward, be courageous and do the best you ever can like there is no tomorrow”, etc etc. You might have also been reading about how those big shots become successful by developing the right kind of mindset, attitude, habit and routine etc etc.

But my first guess is, you,
just like me, have tried to be positive and proactive and tried everything you have read and learnt so far but still haven’t seen much progress or improvement in your personal life or career (maybe it there has been yet it seems unsustainable). You, just like me, are starting to wonder if you are ever going to make something big out of yourselves and make your dreams come true. And you, just like me, would trade almost anything to find out the answer, because I know that you, just like me, are so ready to work every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy, so that you can go full throttle towards realizing your dreams.

I hope so much I have the answer for me that when I am marching forward towards my dream, I can offer it to you and together we can change the world to be a much better and more beautiful place.

Unfortunately, I don’t have my answer just yet, and my second guess is, the answer for me is most likely not the same exact answer for you.

What a pity in life. Wouldn’t it be great if there’s the same solution to the same problem for everyone in the world?

On second thought, not really.

I think each of our lives is unique in its own way. And in order to create our very own special lives individually, we all need to find our own answers and solutions. That is what makes each of our life journey and experience so beautifully unique, each of its own way. And, to be able to live a unique life, each of us will (and has already) go through something marvelous, something brutal, something enjoyable, and something painful. In order to fully understand the meaning of beauty and joy, one must have experienced ugliness and sadness. It’s through all the trial and error does one come to gradually understand him/herself, because believe me, I don’t think you really know who you are inside. I am just starting to know who I really am myself, while for all this time I thought I knew me so well. Sometimes I hide the real me so deep inside me even I have deceived myself all these years. I am just getting to know “me”.

Now I am digging the real me out and getting her to be face to face with the not-so-real-me (ok getting a bit split personality here, I swear I am not crazy… Or aren’t we all a little, crazy?). I want her to tell me the truth. Oh yes, the truth.

“What exactly do you want for your life? I am not talking about what you have done before, or not even what you’ve been doing now. They do not matter. What truly matters is what you do now can give you what you really want in the future, that soon-to-be beautiful life of yours, the dream-come-true. So tell me now, honestly, what do you really want in your life?”

At first, she bites her lips and does not say a word. I await with patience. I know, I have to.

At first, she tries to lie. But I know her after all.

Gradually she starts to become less shy and embarrassed. She starts to talk and feel less ashamed of what she truly wants all this time. She is starting to learn to trust me and reveal her secret, which I believe will lead to the truth, the answer that I have set my eyes for my whole life…

So I think, my dear readers, that it’s
time for you to go dig out the real you who have been living inside you forever, and ask him/her for the truth you so desperately want all these years. I am quite sure that will help you find out the answer on “how to live my life to the fullest”.

Have a meaningful week ahead!

I am Grateful for Everything Happened in My Life, Good or Bad.

LIFE is full of HOPE!

Couple days ago I had a huge revelation. I mean, life-changing kind. And I would like to share with you all here.

I don’t know how many of you have been reading my posts, and how much you might have realized that I had this constant battle between moving on with my past and struggling with it. By “my past” I mean my upbringing, my past relationship with my parents, especially that with my father. I know I know, this topic has been old, but please, bear with me for a while here. I promise this is most likely the last post I would ever write on this topic here.

Like I said in my previous post, I finally came to understanding that I needed to accept who I was. Now, this time it’s really different. During lunch with my parents a couple days back, I suddenly had this idea popped up in my head: I had been so lucky to have all these wonderful things in my life that I didn’t realize! Thanks to my parents, I got to study what I loved, I had the eye-opening chance to study abroad, to travel across countries during my study and with work which was also what I studied and was passionate about, to continue to see this world by making money with my passion, to connect with people of different nationalities and backgrounds as well as to create my own community through learning languages, reading, writing and my work. Why did I think life had been unfair to me? I should be feeling grateful for everything my wonderful parents who came from a poor background had provided me through hard work and perseverance, and above all, through love. I would be such an ungrateful person if I still thought they should have given me more and brought me up differently! I finally accepted that this had always been who I had been, and I was and still am loved by my parents dearly, and that there needed not be anything to be changed whatsoever. And now with all the experiences and knowledge that I have gained from the past, I am fully ready and charged to become the new me. The metamorphosis has begun!

I am grateful for everything happened in my life, whether it be good or bad, joyful or painful. I accept the way it was and I have moved on. I accept that it had made me a better person, equipped me for who I am now, so that I can help and inspire others to let go of their past and transform themselves into better versions of their own!

Now would you all excuse me, but I will have to retreat and create a better version of myself as well, by getting a good night’s rest before the big day tomorrow! (not wedding!)

Ciao for now, enjoy your weekend and above all, enjoy your LIFE, because it’s so precious and beautiful, every minute of it.

Love & Peace, SelfWonder x

Stop complaining and start living !

Life is Beeeeautiful! La vie est très très belle!

There were times I felt that life was unfair for me. I wished I were born in a wealthier and more educated family, that I were raised by a pair of more caring and loving more encouraging and less abusive parents, that I were
given more opportunities while young to learn, explore and see the world, etc etc. I felt jealous when I saw others had more resources and were grown up with better background. I just wished I were given the same that I knew I could have achieved even more than them…

But those wishes are over. First is that I know and accept that life is indeed unfair. How about those children who are growing up in third world countries, with extreme poverty and even worse, in war zone day in and day out, with no clear water, no electricity, no food, no safety, and no education? Perhaps even without parents? How about those women, who are looked down as the second class citizens, who are threatened, punished or even killed when raped? Do I have more to complain about now?

I know, I was lack of many things, yet I also know, I have a lot to be thankful for. I remember my mother used to say to me whenever I felt frustrated with where my life was going, “you are not at the bottom of the pyramid, and you are not at the top. You are in much better position than many people.” To that I annoyingly replied, “yes mother that is true, but you cannot compare me to those at the bottom! I want to be better and go up and higher!” I was always very grumpy and upset when things did not go exactly the way I wanted them to be.
Last night, after dinner with my parents, I suddenly said to my mother, “I think I am alright. I look okay, I have a decent work and income, I get to do things and travel when I like to, I have many basic needs covered. I think I have a good life: I am quite satisfied and I should be content and grateful at this stage, although certainly I still want to and would improve myself in many ways.” I could tell that my mother was a little surprised by my comments, to which she responded with a gentle nod of consent.

I am still from time to time dissatisfied with many aspects of my life and myself: the way I look, the body I have, the career I take, the relationships I am in… Nonetheless, in the middle of this dissatisfaction and the swirl of this chaotic world, I know very well that, there is so much that I should be and am grateful for, that I have a wonderful life, because, I get to live, I get to breathe, I get to see, hear and feel; I get to enjoy my life on my own and share it with others, and, I get to write it down for you to read here. Life is absolutely amazing and fantastic this way, don’t you think so?

I hope you are all having an awesome week!

The story of a baguette

A couple weeks ago, I accidentally stumbled into a little endearing cake shop when I was looking for a café for a nice cup of cappuccino and to wind down after some stressful work.
I was hesitant to walk in at first (because I didn’t want to have desserts), however, I was attracted by the clean yet elegant dècor of the shop. I stood in front of the lovely cake display, trying to resist the temptation of consuming any of them. My strong will against such temptation was tested by the pastry chef, whom to me initially seemed cool and well composed, yet later was completely warmed up and excited when started her detailed description about each of her creation: the lovely cakes.

To be honest, I wasn’t in the mood for any of the cakes, despite the fact that they all looked so pretty. But as the chef enthusiastically told me the ideas she created and the little steps she took behind each cake creation, I found all of them so deliciously enticing that I just wanted to try them all! The passion infused in her talk showed me her seriousness in creating her ideas and tremendous effort in making her dreams come true. Such passion resonated well inside me too, reminding me that there were still people out there fighting for their dreams every single day.

I could not resist the temptation but to have a baguette. It was wonderful, one of the few best baguettes I have ever had.

What are your dreams and how do you fight for them? Or have you forgotten what they are and hidden them somewhere deep inside you unrealized?

I hope you all have a productive week ahead, getting closer and closer to make your dreams come true!

Purpose of My Life

I believe finally, I have found the purpose of my life.

And unbelievably, or almost ironically, it has been what I have been doing and passionate about the whole time in the past few years, in the last decade, or perhaps, even as long as I remember when I start living my life…

***

As I was trying to write this post on my phone, I saw I dropped down a few points on a note some time ago:

Meaning
Purpose
Passion
Create community
Do something people want not just out of personal interest

I don’t recall where I read the points above from, but I do think about things like this, all, the, time. Seriously, all the time, I ask myself, what is the purpose of my life if any? What do I live for? How do I live my life to the fullest and make the most out of it so that I can influence people and contribute to the world?

What I found was, most people won’t even think about these things. “What do you mean by purpose? It’s just life.” “Be happy.” “Earn more money and make my life better.” “Build a family. Have kids.” “Go to work. Get paid. Go party and spend money and have a good time, like most people do.”

I think what had stopped me from moving forward with what I had been doing was that I had a question about the last point: do something people want but not just out of personal interest. The thing that I have been passionate about is not very mainstream, so I thought maybe if I really wanted to make a difference then I should do something else, something that most people could relate to, something that could inspire and change the lives of people for the better.

***

Recently, I had a life crisis : not exactly a midlife one but perhaps close to, because it had come to the point that I felt like I desperately needed to make a drastic change in my career so that I could become who I truly wanted, to be more influential in other people’s lives and a more important person in the world. I felt like I could not waste my life ahead any longer, probably because I did in the past years/life, on sulking on my sad childhood and unlucky experiences, on moaning why life and people didn’t treat me better. Now that I have a new positive wonderful life, I absolutely need to start living well every single minute…

So I started to think hard, “what should I really do? What should I change?” It drove my crazy because I couldn’t figure out if this or that approach would be good, there were just so many things I thought I needed to do, but there was so little time to do everything at the same time!! Then I did this amazing thing that usually didn’t happen to me: I talked to almost every single person I met, and even called up some friend that I hadn’t seen for long time but I felt he could help me. And you know what? He did. He showed me what had been important to me and what I should focus on doing to make myself a better career and a better person, and that was what I had been working on intensely in the past few years! The conversation just cleared up my head and made me all so excited about what I had to keep doing, only with more focus and diligence, which I was more than happy to devote to my career and life.

Maybe it’s not really him who showed me the way, but it’s him who clarified my thoughts. For that I thank him tremendously. And so here we go, I am back on track to continue to serve the purpose of my life, to guide, educated and inspire others, with such work I feel grateful and truly content every single day.

I hope you all have a purposeful and fulfilling week ahead!

It’s all about choices

The choice that we make.

It’s all about choices.


It’s a choice to stay.
It’s a choice to leave.


It’s a choice to remember,
And a choice to forget.


It’s a choice to love.
It’s a choice to not to.


It’s a choice to hate,
And a choice to forgive.


It’s a choice to trust.
It’s a choice to disbelieve.


It’s a choice of faith,
And it’s a choice of doubt.


What is your choice today?

Hold on to what you believe in and keep going !

NOW is the time to make what you want happen!

Today I had a little chat with a friend, and she said to me, “my friend told me, if there’s one thing that keeps coming back to you in your mind that just seems not going away, then you know, it is something you truly want to do and make it happen.”

I have been having thoughts about a project that I want to do. Every time when I ask myself, “what is the one thing you truly want to make it happen?” And the idea of this project just pops up in my head. Sometimes I have doubts about it. I wonder, this is so hard to do, should I do it? Am I, me, capable of making this happen?

A friend said to me the other day when I asked him about this project, “you know, we are all going to get old and die some day, so there is no time in wasting thinking about if this is going to work or not. Just take the chance and try it out. At least you have tried if it really doesn’t work.” I guess he is right about that. We only have one life to live no? Why don’t we take the chance in everything we’ve been given to? I do think there is a reason when we encounter certain things and people in different stages of life, and there is a purpose in each of our own lives that we have to live up to. When we believe they we have found that purpose and our niche, that’s it. We have to keep pushing forward and own it. As I quoted before in my previous post, live the charged life that always take us out of our comfort zone a bit, just a bit is enough.

I shall keep my faith on what I believe in and keep going.

My dear readers, what is the one thing you truly believe in and want to make it happen so badly?

I hope you all have a great weekend ahead.

Embrace Who You Are.

Embrace who you are!

“I am not good enough yet. I am too fat, I am too short, I am not pretty enough. I don’t make enough money. I can have a better relationship with my parents. Why am I not in a loving relationship with someone? There must be something wrong with me. I just need to be better every single day in every aspect of my life.”

I think I am in constant battle with myself in this tiny little head of mine, every second of my life. Sometimes, I feel great, other times, I feel awful. I am in constant judgement of myself, telling myself what I can do to improve my situation and how to become a better person.

I know I have become very positive in the recent years. No one would ever believe I was once very negative and depressed for the longest time in my life. I had thought about various ways to commit suicide when I was younger, only worried about all the possibility of not killing myself (for instance, jumping off the building might only break my legs or get into a coma instead of dying completely, or taking too much pills might only lead to excruciating pain of having your stomach all cleaned out and hospitalization, etc etc).

I used to think I lived a black and white life, or more precisely, a life colored in a gloomy shade of grey. Now, my life is filled with all sorts of vibrant colors.

I changed myself drastically, but not in one day, one year, but gradually, constantly, in the last 10-15 years, with lots of struggles and battles, mostly with myself and my inner voices, that I have finally become who I am today.

I am certainly proud of my achievement in this aspect. I am very positive and encouraging in my work, I always give out kind words and encouragement to my staff and my clients, and I strive every single day to be the best positive and affirmative energy and power for every one of them.

But to myself, I still struggle. I can say I am being positive at least 90 to even 95% of the time with myself. But just that 5-10%, I can go very low. I can be very judgmental of myself, criticizing why I am not doing better already, now.

Sometimes I would look into the mirror, and say to myself, ” (calling myself in full name, affirmatively, sometimes in anger or demise), what the hell is wrong with you? You must do this, you must be strong to continue, do you know everyone is looking up at you? You need to set an example and lead them to move forward. You are responsible for them! You need to be at your best self. You are the one to make the difference. It’s your purpose in life! Why the hell are you still not doing the things you have to do already?? Stop being lazy!!” Etc. etc….

Now I think, I need to stop that. I need to rest and breathe. I need to take some time off once in a while, just to NOT thinking about anything I need to do next and any aspect I need to improve on.

Why is it so hard to accept the way I am? I know it’s important to keep growing, but I start to realize all this self judgment is not helping much.

Okay, sometimes I also look into the mirror, and say to myself, “(calling myself in full name again, affirmatively, with a big smile on my face and sometimes in a loving voice), you are great and are a wonderful person. You are pretty and smart, you can do this. You will do great today and make a difference in others’ lives. You are marvelous. Now go on and start a fabulous day already!”

I think I just need to do the second talk more. If this does not qualify for being a crazy person.

So today I shall let myself breathe, walk boldly forward, make less judgment of myself and accept the way I am now, knowing that I can and will become a better person, get to where I want to be and beyond, only in a matter of time. I shall not be afraid of trying and failing, knowing that without mistake there will not be glory and success ahead. I understand there might be setbacks and heartbreaks (most likely), yet I shall take them like I always had and I always will. I shall not be afraid of confrontations, that I shall face them with bravery instead of walking away and avoiding them. I shall come face to face with the challenges when they appear.

Today I shall start learning to embrace who I am, understand where I am at now, and how far I can go.

How about you, my lovely readers, do you embrace who you truly are?

You all have a blessed week ahead.

Maybe I was wrong.

Love is Hard.

I guess I thought I had been right all along, my darling.

I thought it had been your fault, that you were being defensive, sensitive, emotional, and cowardly, that you were the one who did not open up to me. I did not understand why you were being silent and cold, that you could be so sweet at times and aloof at other. I thought that was why we did not get along.

Now I have the moment to sit alone, to think and feel. I start to wonder, maybe, just maybe, it’s me too? Maybe, just maybe, I am also being too hard on you, by acting a little defensive, sensitive, emotional and cowardly to you too?

You said, it shouldn’t be so hard right from the start already. I thought so too. But, now I come to think of it, maybe, just maybe, it should be. Relationship is hard, it’s never easy. If we want easy, we go to the bar and hook up with someone. That, is easy, and fun, and you don’t have to deal with that person the day after. And then, you can always find someone new day after day, night after night. But that, is not a relationship. At least, not a relationship that we both want, with each other.

I know, you have retrieved your emotion from me. I could feel it the other night as we walked back to my place, you were there physically, but not emotionally for me anymore. The connection was paused, or even stopped. Now I wonder, would you ever start that connection we once had again?

I get it. It is possible that we are not made for each other. But, I still think, we should give us one more try. That is, if you want to too. If not, I will not force you. I will let you go and find the one who is better for you.

For me, I want someone to stay for the long haul. So I need someone who is strong enough to face the constant challenges in a long-term relationship. I want a life partner, who is going to be there for me for both the good times and the bad times, and me him as well. I would understand if you are not the one for me and me you. Then, we should part our ways civilly, because after all, we are adults, we can be mature like that, can’t we?

Still, I feel, there is something between us unresolved. I do wonder, what is it you want to talk to me about?

Was I wrong about me, or was I wrong about us? …

I hope I get my answer very soon.

Love is Hard. Relationship is Harder.

What are you dying to do?

I feel lack of inspiration recently. I know there are a lot of things waiting for me to do and finish off, yet I am utterly exhausted and uninspired to do so.

Where is my dream? I know this is not the life I want. I mean, this is a good life, and I am comfortable and grateful with what I do for a living. But deep down inside, I know, I want more than this. Deep down inside, I know, this is too comfortable.

I actually did work my bottom off to get to where I am now. It had not been easy. Therefore, when I got to when I was a couple years back, I felt I needed to slow things down a bit. I figured, finally my hard work paid off, and I could relax and enjoy my success for a while. That while had become too long of a pause. I stopped moving forward. I was too comfortable to work again.

Now I feel I did not progress much during the last couple years. Sure there was some advancement, but really not that much. It is time to get up and get back down the road once again.

Make your dreams come true!

I know, it ain’t gonna be easy. In fact, it’s going to be hardcore work. And people around me wonder, “what are you doing to yourself? You are doing so well already.” I know I am not young, but it is exactly the fact that I am not so young that I have no time to sit here still and waste it and watch the world go by around me. I seriously need to be involved in the action again.

And believe me, I am rather excited about it. Watching this TED talk video reignites that fire for my dream again. Listening to the speaker talk reminds me that having a dream is not enough, I have to chase after it as well.

Ask yourself like the speaker does when he knew he only had five years to live, “what am I dying to do?”

What are your dreams? And what are your plans to chase after them?