Couple days ago I had a huge revelation. I mean, life-changing kind. And I would like to share with you all here.
I don’t know how many of you have been reading my posts, and how much you might have realized that I had this constant battle between moving on with my past and struggling with it. By “my past” I mean my upbringing, my past relationship with my parents, especially that with my father. I know I know, this topic has been old, but please, bear with me for a while here. I promise this is most likely the last post I would ever write on this topic here.
Like I said in my previous post, I finally came to understanding that I needed to accept who I was. Now, this time it’s really different. During lunch with my parents a couple days back, I suddenly had this idea popped up in my head: I had been so lucky to have all these wonderful things in my life that I didn’t realize! Thanks to my parents, I got to study what I loved, I had the eye-opening chance to study abroad, to travel across countries during my study and with work which was also what I studied and was passionate about, to continue to see this world by making money with my passion, to connect with people of different nationalities and backgrounds as well as to create my own community through learning languages, reading, writing and my work. Why did I think life had been unfair to me? I should be feeling grateful for everything my wonderful parents who came from a poor background had provided me through hard work and perseverance, and above all, through love. I would be such an ungrateful person if I still thought they should have given me more and brought me up differently! I finally accepted that this had always been who I had been, and I was and still am loved by my parents dearly, and that there needed not be anything to be changed whatsoever. And now with all the experiences and knowledge that I have gained from the past, I am fully ready and charged to become the new me. The metamorphosis has begun!
I am grateful for everything happened in my life, whether it be good or bad, joyful or painful. I accept the way it was and I have moved on. I accept that it had made me a better person, equipped me for who I am now, so that I can help and inspire others to let go of their past and transform themselves into better versions of their own!
Now would you all excuse me, but I will have to retreat and create a better version of myself as well, by getting a good night’s rest before the big day tomorrow! (not wedding!)
Ciao for now, enjoy your weekend and above all, enjoy your LIFE, because it’s so precious and beautiful, every minute of it.
Love & Peace, SelfWonder x
Tag Archives: Trust
The story of a baguette
A couple weeks ago, I accidentally stumbled into a little endearing cake shop when I was looking for a café for a nice cup of cappuccino and to wind down after some stressful work.
I was hesitant to walk in at first (because I didn’t want to have desserts), however, I was attracted by the clean yet elegant dècor of the shop. I stood in front of the lovely cake display, trying to resist the temptation of consuming any of them. My strong will against such temptation was tested by the pastry chef, whom to me initially seemed cool and well composed, yet later was completely warmed up and excited when started her detailed description about each of her creation: the lovely cakes.
To be honest, I wasn’t in the mood for any of the cakes, despite the fact that they all looked so pretty. But as the chef enthusiastically told me the ideas she created and the little steps she took behind each cake creation, I found all of them so deliciously enticing that I just wanted to try them all! The passion infused in her talk showed me her seriousness in creating her ideas and tremendous effort in making her dreams come true. Such passion resonated well inside me too, reminding me that there were still people out there fighting for their dreams every single day.
What are your dreams and how do you fight for them? Or have you forgotten what they are and hidden them somewhere deep inside you unrealized?
I hope you all have a productive week ahead, getting closer and closer to make your dreams come true!
Purpose of My Life
I believe finally, I have found the purpose of my life.
And unbelievably, or almost ironically, it has been what I have been doing and passionate about the whole time in the past few years, in the last decade, or perhaps, even as long as I remember when I start living my life…
***
As I was trying to write this post on my phone, I saw I dropped down a few points on a note some time ago:
Meaning
Purpose
Passion
Create community
Do something people want not just out of personal interest
I don’t recall where I read the points above from, but I do think about things like this, all, the, time. Seriously, all the time, I ask myself, what is the purpose of my life if any? What do I live for? How do I live my life to the fullest and make the most out of it so that I can influence people and contribute to the world?
What I found was, most people won’t even think about these things. “What do you mean by purpose? It’s just life.” “Be happy.” “Earn more money and make my life better.” “Build a family. Have kids.” “Go to work. Get paid. Go party and spend money and have a good time, like most people do.”
I think what had stopped me from moving forward with what I had been doing was that I had a question about the last point: do something people want but not just out of personal interest. The thing that I have been passionate about is not very mainstream, so I thought maybe if I really wanted to make a difference then I should do something else, something that most people could relate to, something that could inspire and change the lives of people for the better.
***
Recently, I had a life crisis : not exactly a midlife one but perhaps close to, because it had come to the point that I felt like I desperately needed to make a drastic change in my career so that I could become who I truly wanted, to be more influential in other people’s lives and a more important person in the world. I felt like I could not waste my life ahead any longer, probably because I did in the past years/life, on sulking on my sad childhood and unlucky experiences, on moaning why life and people didn’t treat me better. Now that I have a new positive wonderful life, I absolutely need to start living well every single minute…
So I started to think hard, “what should I really do? What should I change?” It drove my crazy because I couldn’t figure out if this or that approach would be good, there were just so many things I thought I needed to do, but there was so little time to do everything at the same time!! Then I did this amazing thing that usually didn’t happen to me: I talked to almost every single person I met, and even called up some friend that I hadn’t seen for long time but I felt he could help me. And you know what? He did. He showed me what had been important to me and what I should focus on doing to make myself a better career and a better person, and that was what I had been working on intensely in the past few years! The conversation just cleared up my head and made me all so excited about what I had to keep doing, only with more focus and diligence, which I was more than happy to devote to my career and life.
Maybe it’s not really him who showed me the way, but it’s him who clarified my thoughts. For that I thank him tremendously. And so here we go, I am back on track to continue to serve the purpose of my life, to guide, educated and inspire others, with such work I feel grateful and truly content every single day.
I hope you all have a purposeful and fulfilling week ahead!
It’s all about choices
It’s all about choices.
It’s a choice to stay.
It’s a choice to leave.
It’s a choice to remember,
And a choice to forget.
It’s a choice to love.
It’s a choice to not to.
It’s a choice to hate,
And a choice to forgive.
It’s a choice to trust.
It’s a choice to disbelieve.
It’s a choice of faith,
And it’s a choice of doubt.
What is your choice today?
Hold on to what you believe in and keep going !
Today I had a little chat with a friend, and she said to me, “my friend told me, if there’s one thing that keeps coming back to you in your mind that just seems not going away, then you know, it is something you truly want to do and make it happen.”
I have been having thoughts about a project that I want to do. Every time when I ask myself, “what is the one thing you truly want to make it happen?” And the idea of this project just pops up in my head. Sometimes I have doubts about it. I wonder, this is so hard to do, should I do it? Am I, me, capable of making this happen?
A friend said to me the other day when I asked him about this project, “you know, we are all going to get old and die some day, so there is no time in wasting thinking about if this is going to work or not. Just take the chance and try it out. At least you have tried if it really doesn’t work.” I guess he is right about that. We only have one life to live no? Why don’t we take the chance in everything we’ve been given to? I do think there is a reason when we encounter certain things and people in different stages of life, and there is a purpose in each of our own lives that we have to live up to. When we believe they we have found that purpose and our niche, that’s it. We have to keep pushing forward and own it. As I quoted before in my previous post, live the charged life that always take us out of our comfort zone a bit, just a bit is enough.
I shall keep my faith on what I believe in and keep going.
My dear readers, what is the one thing you truly believe in and want to make it happen so badly?
I hope you all have a great weekend ahead.
Focus on what you do want to happen
Dear Readers,
Thank you for reading this post. I just want to share with you this article here:
30 Things You Should Stop Putting Yourself Through
I sincerely urge you to all read it. I find it as a fantastic reminder for me. Here are a few especially great points the writer makes:
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”
The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
…making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.
And most importantly for me, these two sentences just shone in front of my eyes as I read along, the light bulb in my head immediately lit up:
Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.
So there you go if you don’t have time to read the whole article – but, please do! I am sure you will find it useful too!
Have a wonderful weekend ahead you all lovely readers out there! xoxo 🙂
P.S. Here is a photo from my last adventure hehe ~
Love is not perfect, but the struggle makes it stronger.
I just want to say what’s on my mind about you and that’s it. You don’t have to do anything about it. Just please read this through.
I think when two person meet, there is a reason for that. There is already a connection between the two and there is a lesson to learn from each other. From our brief encounter I would say you can be a loving and caring person, but perhaps from your past experience you were hurt and you shut down easily when you encountered some initial failure during our meetings because you wanted to stop being hurt and feeling pain again. You have to know that you are not the only one who is afraid of that feeling. Being vulnerable in love and relationship can be the worst feeling in the world, but without it one will not be able to experience love in its true form. It is indeed a very scary thing. I am afraid of that feeling as well. But I also want to try again and have that true form of love again, no matter how much and/or if it’s going to hurt again. Well I am still scared of that but I am willing to take the risk with the right person.
I know you have the same question,
how do we know if that’s the right person? I don’t know for sure either. But like you said, if you feel that’s the right person, then that’s it. Maybe that’s it, I am not sure myself either. It can be anyone you feel s/he is, you just can never be sure until you really have tried your best to find out. After all, I think, love is a choice. But love is a feeling and faith as well. One has to be brave enough to take that leap of faith and jump right in, and be courageous enough to stick with it and work on it with the other person. Love is a wonderful feeling isn’t it?
You told me you felt empty. I did not forget about the reason why you felt so. But I want to tell you that you do not have to feel that way. You need to love yourself well first. You are a fine person and you really should know and address that in your mind. If you don’t know that then let me tell you again and again: you are a wonderful and loving person, please love yourself first, then start to love others, because you are full of love and are capable of giving and receiving love in return. If you really do not want to feel empty anymore, please, start loving yourself now and start loving the person you want to be in love with. Then, the love you will receive from the one you love shall fill your heart fully, because it is a love of interaction and co-dependence. It is a love of giving and receiving. It is a love of acceptance and forgiveness. It is a love in its true sense of form. Love between two person is not perfect, there is always struggle, we all have to accept that and work with that. But when we stand firm and deal with that struggle with our partner together, we make that love and bond stronger every single day and every single time we tackle a new obstacle. Or at least that is what I believe in.
So there you go. This is pretty much what I wanted to tell you. You gave me something that I thought I would never feel again. For that I thank you. Now good luck and have a good life. I wish you will find your true love. And myself mine as well.
Love thyself and enjoy the moment.
I finally understand it, when I truly accept and love myself for who I am, I am completely happy, I mean, completely.
I forgot that I was alone the whole time in this journey. In fact, I have been so submerged in the whole process I have been enjoying this travel so very much. I was afraid that I might get bored and feel alone after a while. But it didn’t happen. On the contrary, I feel exactly because I am traveling alone that I am being very spontaneous and for this reason I can truly enjoy whatever my heart sets itself to.
This journey has been wonderfully amazing. I shall update you all with more details, and perhaps, photos too.
I hope you all are having an amazing week.
Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day!
I think it was a pretty good way to spend my Valentine’s evening, not that I would not want to spend some time with my loved one, only for the first thing I don’t have one (yet), and the second I rather enjoyed doing what I loved and made a living that way.
Actually it felt nice to earn money on a Valentine’s Day instead of spending it haha.
All the holidays and celebrations have become very commercial nowadays. It’s all about how much money you put into it, or else it might seem you are not putting enough effort to show how much you love the others.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing wrong with showering your love on the one you really adore. But, I don’t think how much you love the person should be equal to how much money you spend on him/her.I would rather think it’s the effort that counts more.
And, it’s not just about that one day you show your love with material things. It’s about the day to day care for that person you truly love.
Maybe I am being too idealistic, but isn’t what in sickness and in health really means?
Well, I have not come to that point to say and promise that to someone (yet or ever), but it doesn’t matter if one is married legally or not – what I mean is written and signed on a paper, it’s more about the faith and promise you make with each other in words and more importantly, actions.
Okay, fine, I am idealistic and romantic at heart, sue me. I just cannot help it. One cannot change the fundamentals of who she really is. And I am learning to accept the way I truly am, a person of too high moral standard and human virtues for modern standard.
I only hope I can meet someone like that (not confined to life partner only), so that I can build my community of love for myself to be in it.
Until then, happy (belated) Valentine’s Day everyone. I hope you all have/had a good one, a day blessed with true love, my beautiful readers.
I am the one and only. So are you.
You are the one and only.
You are the one and only.
I am the one and only. So are you.
I am precious and special. So are you, my dear.
I am loving and caring, cold outside but warm inside. And so are you, my darling.
I am passionate yet gentle. So are you, my love.
I am sensitive and emotional, seemingly aloof yet vulnerable deep down. So are you, my honey.
Do you understand and know that we are so alike?
Can we come to the conclusion that we are the same kind of person and we need a lot of patience and effort in order to be together ? Perhaps like you said, strong will? That is if we really want to, both of us. We need to work together to make this happen, to make us happen. But I do think, if we try and make it happen, it can be so…
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Self Wonder 