It is a decent legitimate question, and a question that I ask myself from time to time, often replacing the number “five” with “three” or “ten”.
Suddenly, it dawns on me that, the question I should ask myself is,
“Where do I want to be in my life years?”
The question is not about three or five or ten years anymore. It is about the lifetime, the lifetime ahead that is left for me.
The direction for that answer becomes completely different.
It is not with whom I want to be right now. It is with whom I want to be for my life, the person who would add value and color to my life, which would become bigger, brighter and with more substance.
It is not with whom I can have fun right now, rather it is the person with whom I can have long term fun and adventure with.
It is not what I can do to make a living right now, but, the kind of work I can make good living and at the same time spend my life adding value to and feeling joy with myself and others.
It is not where I want to be for five years anymore, rather, it is a space and a community in which I can be the person I want to be, with that person I can be with, and that work I can do in the long run.
It is not the life I want to be in for now, but the lifestyle I can live with freely, joyfully, positively and with the least restraint and constraint I can have.
Today I went out to meet a friend for lunch (it rarely happened to me because I was always busy at lunch hour).
On my way to meet my friend I passed by a shop. And you know what I found! This!
I could not believe my eyes. There is actually an other strangely color-coded bear, this one being designed by a famous fashion brand, as compared to the one I had, a stuff fluffy one and much bigger one instead, probably made by an unknown local brand. How old they both had this weird color combination. And mine had even three green buttons over its belly, which was most likely white but I could not remember for sure.
I was amazed. Finally I found it by accident, and in a highly unlikely place and situation. But this one was very plasticky and tiny. It was a USB. You could pull it out from the bear’s head. And you could also wear it as a necklace (a golden chain was attached to the top of the bear obviously).
But hey. My bear had been reincarnated so to speak. And it reminded of my Grandma obviously, who bought me the odd-color-combo stuffed animal bear one night when we were out for dinner. I was probably 7 or 8, or even younger. It was the last thing she had ever left me. And one day my Dad just threw it away for his own righteous reason.
Tonight as I was meditating, I saw my Grandma holding the Pink Bear. She and Bear were standing on top of this white marble staircase, looking down smiling at me. She said, “we are alright here. Your bear is safe with me. You can come here anytime and talk with us.”
I was so happy. Now I knew where to find my wonderful Grandma. And my Bear.
When I think about people/relationship/attitude/situation, I always start with what I don’t want, and most likely just stop there.
Today I want to try writing down things that I want.
So here you go.
I want:
1. A Life with Purpose
Yes I would like to think it does matter. Certainly one can live just to pass the days, but for me it just seems to be boring and meaningless. And by having a purpose I don’t mean you have to have a crazy ambitious goal like becoming the new CEO of Google (btw the new one seems pretty awesome), but if you want to that’s also great! You might want to be a loving partner /friend /parent, be responsible for your work, have a cause to protect the environment/animals, advocate gay rights/women rights, become a great writer/spiritual leader/Hollywood star… I mean the choices there are endless! You just have to pick a cause and try hard at it. Give it a go. Give yourself a chance.
So I guess the next is –
2. A Life with Courage
I don’t want to live in fear -whether it be fear of failure /embarrassment /getting hurt physically or emotionally /losing something or someone – anymore. Life is worth taking a risk. In fact, a life well lived depends on it. Your life is worth that risk you are dying to take. Try it. Maybe it’s something for fun, some project at work, someone you fancy, someone you miss/want to make up with. Just go for it/him/her already! Nothing to lose really. But if you miss that chance you have right now, you really might not get it back (trust me on this one, you most likely don’t, ever, again, scary isn’t it). Try it and you can leave it all behind if it didn’t work out at the end, knowing that you have tried it would certainly make you feel good with a smile on your face when you think about it 🙂
3. A Life with Adventure
I want to take more risk. Have more fun. Meet new friends. Travel new places. Try new cuisines. Listen to new music. Have new experience, big or small. I just want my life to be awesome and full of interesting experiences and stories to tell later on, to my readers at least! And have something of reminiscent quality for my older self when I am in my 70s hahaha.
4. A Life with Love
Ok, I am guilty at fault about such topic in the department of romantic love. But hey, I am also talking about self-love which is of the utmost importance! Then it’s family love, friends’ love, and for me, I don’t know how to put it, but let’s just say community love- a love that is connected through a cause, a belief in something, a love in something that is of tremendous importance to me and the people concerned, and with that we create love among us.
And of course, love for music and arts. Love for freedom and creativity. Love for free thinking and writing. Love for the nature, the sky, ocean, trees, butterflies and cats haha. They are all so beautiful.
Now suddenly I can see and feel, I have a wonderful life living already and ahead. You see, it’s always good to write it all out and share with others. Because when you are generous with beautiful,
positive and encouraging thoughts to others in words (written or spoken), you always, and I say always, receive something back, maybe even more you can imagine.
It was the way you concentrated fully on me. The only time you ever put your whole focus on me. Or least in the act with me.
I could feel your full presence. The only moment, and the most precious moment we had together. I had the whole you with me. And that was most beautiful.
I wish we had more of it. But, still, those moments were truly sensational. Maybe it was just me who felt so much about everything, and you did not even care about it. But, still, they were splendid. For that I must thank you. And I certainly hope you enjoyed them too. Or at least felt something. Something that slightly touched your heart, which is so capable of ….
And I hope you are happy. Go for it, you need it. Find someone else to be happy with, and to …. (I might not be the one whom you thought worth your while to …. but surely there would be someone you could find to do so)
I would recommend you read a book by Osho, called “Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other”. Truly beautiful and insightful book. What a human being Osho was. How intelligent and funny at the same time.
Love has no boundary,
No matter,
Old or young,
Healthy or sick,
Any gender,
Any space,
Any life,
Any object.
Love has no distance,
No matter,
Near or far,
Alive or dead,
It’s present in our heart,
Forever and ever.
Love knows no fear,
Love conquers.
Love stands no lies,
Love trusts.
Love is hope,
Love Is faith,
Love is strong, and
Love is honest.
Love requires openness.
If you want Love,
You must be ready
To receive it with heart and arms wide open.
Get ready to give and receive,
And let your heart be filled,
Full with the sweet nectar of Love,
And let your body be scented,
All over with its enticing fragrance,
That floats amidst the fresh air of the enchanted chamber.
Love has no boundary,
If you are ready, I am here.
Sometimes. Life is hard. We stumble. We fall. We fail. We cry. We sleep. We lay awake. But, we have to continue. Because, if you stop, there will be nothing else tomorrow. Besides, you never know what lies ahead. And it can be something absolutely beautiful and amazing.
I’ve been waiting for my whole life. To hear that line.
To feel, to understand, to be appreciated.
Sometimes I feel, I don’t need it. I don’t need anyone’s approval.
What am I, a four-year-old child? A pet?
At times I feel, I don’t need anyone anymore. I can live off on a remote island, in the countryside alone, or some monastery, being religious, devoted fully to God and all.
But I also understand, I need connection.
I, however tough that I am, however independent that I am, I, do need people.
People to love, people to be in love with, people to love one another.
That is what life is worth living for.
We all, need that connection in life.
No one is an island.
So, no matter where you are, how you are doing, what situation you are in, how you are feeling.
I want you to know, that I, am absolutely proud of you.
I am proud of who you are, what you have gone through and still are staying strong.
I am proud of you, even at times you feel you cannot keep going on, you still try to hang in there, that even you might numb yourself at night with whatever means you get to and are comfortable with, you still wake up in the next morning/day, try to be someone, try to make something of yourself. You still try to work hard and be the best for those around you, especially for those you are close to. Because you know, deep inside, you want to show them that you care about them, that they would still stand up every day and try to make the best out of themselves no matter how tough the situation they are in.
It’s called “pay it forward.”
Because, when you try to be tough and caring for someone else, you also gain another day to live.
Helping others helps yourself. It’s that simple.
So today, get out there, and help others. Focus on other people, especially when you feel like you can’t keep going on.
When you focus on helping others, you feel good. And then you understand, even when you feel you are absolutely helpless/worthless, you, are enough. You are important to others. And you know that deep inside you. You only need to be reminded. By focusing on others.
So today, no matter how terrible you got knocked down yesterday. You get back up. And you go out there, and be who you want to be.
Because you my Friend, are worth it.
And I your Friend, am proud of you. Absolutely, 100% proud of you.
Life is boundless as much as you make of it! It’s an open road ahead of you! Walk on and keep going towards your dream!!
What is the intrinsic value of life? I think it’s love. And I am not talking about romantic love only. I am talking about love and respect for each other, be compassionate to the mankind and other living creatures on Earth in general.
I long for joining a community in which the inhabitants are genuine, loving and caring, and they embrace each other with open and pure hearts with no reservation, that they do not live their lives and what they should own or have according to the rules the majorities and the materialistic world out there say and set. The only rule they have is to keep an open mind and share love with one another. Not even the most expensive materialistic thing in this world can ever be more precious than this ever.
I know I might sound like a dreamer living in the Fantasyworld (is that why people-not just kids but also adults- love the Disneyland so much? Perhaps they should create one there!), but really I think a lot of people out there are refused to love and stick to cheating and lying not because they do not want to love or be loved, rather they had loved and been burnt by love to the extent that they would not want to take the risk of experiencing that awfully painful feeling all over again.
I understand that feeling perfectly. I’ve been there and done that. I sometimes swear to myself that I would not fall in love with anyone ever again. Why bother to fall in it and fall back out again? What a waste of time and energy!
But then, when I see my family, when I spend time with my niece, I feel, loved and I want to, love. Watching a child rejoice at a smallest matter is the most wondrous heart-warming pleasure one can ever experience. Every time after I hanged out with my niece or other small children I don’t know well at some volunteering workplace- whether it be running around in the playground or teaching them how to write – I just feel marvelous and rejuvenated yet again. They have that spark in their eyes that speak of dreams and hopes. It’s like having a sip of the holy water from the fountain of life that I regain the youthful strength to continue with yet another week of challenge. The love for a child is such a powerful reminder in life.
Let us embrace Life and Love fully together this week, wherever you might be in any part of the world!
We can argue all we want. We stop communicating with each other. We swear we don’t want to see each other anymore. We fight, we cry. We point our fingers at each other and yell, screaming at the top of our lungs. “You are so wrong. I hate you!”
But we both know, it’s not true.
We know deep inside, we love each other, very very much. We say the opposite because sometimes we feel hurt and misunderstood. We thought if we accused each other of his/her wrong doings, maybe, just maybe, s/he would understand us that we care, that, we just want to be loved and accepted of who we are.
Love doesn’t come easily. Love hurts. It seems ironic, that we hurt the one we love most, and at the same time we are hurt most by the one we love.
Life is contradictory that way. Love is contradictory that way.
Yet we also know, s/he accepts the way we are and is still there for us no matter how ugly the last fight had been.
So although we felt hurt, misunderstood, stabbed-in-the-heart-kind-of-pain by the other party, we still go back to each other, after one day, one week, one year or more. Because, we know, we love each other deeply no matter what.
So let me tell you one more time, like there is no tomorrow, that, “I love you. I truly do. Please forgive me if I ever hurt you so. And I know, you love me too. We are both blessed to have each other in this life, and we should do everything we can to cherish this love.”
At the end of the day, the only thing that we regret most is not to tell each other how much we love and treasure each other…
At the end of the day, let me just say it one more time, “I love you. I truly do.”
Do it Today!Since you are reading my post now, I am sure that you are, just as I am, eager to make the most out of this precious life and want to know how. I, just like you, have the same exact question, and am desperately looking for the answer.
I am most certain that you have been reading a lot of books and blogs on personal growth, “be positive, charge forward, be courageous and do the best you ever can like there is no tomorrow”, etc etc. You might have also been reading about how those big shots become successful by developing the right kind of mindset, attitude, habit and routine etc etc.
But my first guess is, you,
just like me, have tried to be positive and proactive and tried everything you have read and learnt so far but still haven’t seen much progress or improvement in your personal life or career (maybe it there has been yet it seems unsustainable). You, just like me, are starting to wonder if you are ever going to make something big out of yourselves and make your dreams come true. And you, just like me, would trade almost anything to find out the answer, because I know that you, just like me, are so ready to work every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy, so that you can go full throttle towards realizing your dreams.
I hope so much I have the answer for me that when I am marching forward towards my dream, I can offer it to you and together we can change the world to be a much better and more beautiful place.
Unfortunately, I don’t have my answer just yet, and my second guess is, the answer for me is most likely not the same exact answer for you.
What a pity in life. Wouldn’t it be great if there’s the same solution to the same problem for everyone in the world?
On second thought, not really.
I think each of our lives is unique in its own way. And in order to create our very own special lives individually, we all need to find our own answers and solutions. That is what makes each of our life journey and experience so beautifully unique, each of its own way. And, to be able to live a unique life, each of us will (and has already) go through something marvelous, something brutal, something enjoyable, and something painful. In order to fully understand the meaning of beauty and joy, one must have experienced ugliness and sadness. It’s through all the trial and error does one come to gradually understand him/herself, because believe me, I don’t think you really know who you are inside. I am just starting to know who I really am myself, while for all this time I thought I knew me so well. Sometimes I hide the real me so deep inside me even I have deceived myself all these years. I am just getting to know “me”.
Now I am digging the real me out and getting her to be face to face with the not-so-real-me (ok getting a bit split personality here, I swear I am not crazy… Or aren’t we all a little, crazy?). I want her to tell me the truth. Oh yes, the truth.
“What exactly do you want for your life? I am not talking about what you have done before, or not even what you’ve been doing now. They do not matter. What truly matters is what you do now can give you what you really want in the future, that soon-to-be beautiful life of yours, the dream-come-true. So tell me now, honestly, what do you really want in your life?”
At first, she bites her lips and does not say a word. I await with patience. I know, I have to.
At first, she tries to lie. But I know her after all.
Gradually she starts to become less shy and embarrassed. She starts to talk and feel less ashamed of what she truly wants all this time. She is starting to learn to trust me and reveal her secret, which I believe will lead to the truth, the answer that I have set my eyes for my whole life…
So I think, my dear readers, that it’s
time for you to go dig out the real you who have been living inside you forever, and ask him/her for the truth you so desperately want all these years. I am quite sure that will help you find out the answer on “how to live my life to the fullest”.
Self Wonder 