80/20 Principle

“There is no value in doing things you don’t enjoy.

Do the things that you like doing. Make them your job. Make your job them. Nearly everyone who has become rich has had the added bonus of becoming rich doing things they enjoy.”

Isn’t this a simple and almost common sense kind of concept?

Yes, do things we love. But somehow we just don’t do them enough.

Why? Because we have to make a living.

Why can’t we do things we love as a living?

We can! We just have to choose what we really want to do in our lives and make it happen.

Think for a moment what you truly love spending time in. What makes you smile when you think about this? Take a minute or two to really dig deep and think about it, nothing too small or strange or meaningless or useless here. Just something close to your heart and soul, to your core, to your belief, to your hopes and dreams, to your faith, to your life purpose.

Take a deep breathe in. Pause. Wait. It shall come to you.

That one thought would be your true calling.

If it hasn’t come to you yet, it’s ok. Do this exercise often, until you find it. It is important. You know it is, because you have been feeling so lost all these years haven’t you? Going in to the office day by day, month by month, year by year, and you feel, nothing, but exhaustion and frustration.

Some of you might be better, not exactly feeling so bad, but not exactly feeling so great either, no? Don’t you want to feel hopeful going to bed at night so that you wake up fully rested in the next morning feeling excited about going to work? Have you ever felt that way about your work? Or simply, your life?

If you have never felt this way, my friend, this is wrong way of living. I am not saying wrong to criticize how you do this, but you have not been treating yourself kindly. You deserve better treatment, and you are responsible for taking care of yourself to live the way you want to live, to have a life you want to have, to have a job you want to go work at.

It is your life in the making, every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month, every year. It’s slipping away through your fingers, are you still waiting for some magic or miracle, a lottery, to help you get out of this situation you so not want to be in?

Let me remind you, my friend, you chose to stay. In fact, you are still choosing it.

Not changing the situation you are in is a choice. You have chosen to stay in the rut.

Maybe you think I am being harsh. In fact, I am being compassionate and concerned about your well being.

I don’t want you to feel like this anymore. I don’t.

Let’s start a revolution here. Let’s start a new chapter in our lives together. Together we can. Shall we?

I am going to share more with you my readings and thoughts to empower you so you too can find your purpose and happiness in life, because, as I mentioned earlier, and I would like to stress again,

YOU DESERVE IT.

Namaste,

Self Wonder.

An Imaginary Ad for What I want

When I think about people/relationship/attitude/situation, I always start with what I don’t want, and most likely just stop there.

Today I want to try writing down things that I want.

So here you go.

I want:

1. A Life with Purpose

Yes I would like to think it does matter. Certainly one can live just to pass the days, but for me it just seems to be boring and meaningless. And by having a purpose I don’t mean you have to have a crazy ambitious goal like becoming the new CEO of Google (btw the new one seems pretty awesome), but if you want to that’s also great! You might want to be a loving partner /friend /parent, be responsible for your work, have a cause to protect the environment/animals, advocate gay rights/women rights, become a great writer/spiritual leader/Hollywood star… I mean the choices there are endless! You just have to pick a cause and try hard at it. Give it a go. Give yourself a chance.

So I guess the next is –

2. A Life with Courage

I don’t want to live in fear -whether it be fear of failure /embarrassment /getting hurt physically or emotionally /losing something or someone – anymore. Life is worth taking a risk. In fact, a life well lived depends on it. Your life is worth that risk you are dying to take. Try it. Maybe it’s something for fun, some project at work, someone you fancy, someone you miss/want to make up with. Just go for it/him/her already! Nothing to lose really. But if you miss that chance you have right now, you really might not get it back (trust me on this one, you most likely don’t, ever, again, scary isn’t it). Try it and you can leave it all behind if it didn’t work out at the end, knowing that you have tried it would certainly make you feel good with a smile on your face when you think about it 🙂

3. A Life with Adventure

I want to take more risk. Have more fun. Meet new friends. Travel new places. Try new cuisines. Listen to new music. Have new experience, big or small. I just want my life to be awesome and full of interesting experiences and stories to tell later on, to my readers at least! And have something of reminiscent quality for my older self when I am in my 70s hahaha.

4. A Life with Love
Ok, I am guilty at fault about such topic in the department of romantic love. But hey, I am also talking about self-love which is of the utmost importance! Then it’s family love, friends’ love, and for me, I don’t know how to put it, but let’s just say community love- a love that is connected through a cause, a belief in something, a love in something that is of tremendous importance to me and the people concerned, and with that we create love among us.

And of course, love for music and arts. Love for freedom and creativity. Love for free thinking and writing. Love for the nature, the sky, ocean, trees, butterflies and cats haha. They are all so beautiful.

Now suddenly I can see and feel, I have a wonderful life living already and ahead. You see, it’s always good to write it all out and share with others. Because when you are generous with beautiful,
positive and encouraging thoughts to others in words (written or spoken), you always, and I say always, receive something back, maybe even more you can imagine.

Peace. Namaste.
Self Wonder x

Things that I cannot tell you …

…I just have to write them here.

I know I have asked many times recently, if you care about me, our “relationship”, if you actually love me. Etc. Etc. Yes, and you said, I have said it many times and I haven’t changed, you have. To that I admit, yes I did back off quite a bit. And you asked me why, you said I never explain it. I replied I don’t know why… Then I have to keep asking what you want and you just keep telling me to be consistent and think about what I actually want in this…

Now I do know why. I know exactly what happened after you came back.

I lost that vibe with you. Someone else came around. I wasn’t sure about us. I was so stressed with my work that I was completely lost in it. I started to wonder what it was all about. I went away for a few days, and I found myself. In the three days of doing absolutely nothing, no contact with work and you and everyone else, I was rested,  content and serene. I found out I didn’t need anyone. I started to take care of myself. I started to understand myself. I started to truly love myself and accept the way I was, who I really was all along. Nothing in this materialistic world mattered (if ever), no one in this world could give me more love and comfort than I could to myself. I didn’t have to prove my worth with what I could do for others. I didn’t have to be always responsible for others. I had to be responsible to myself first and foremost. I had to take care and love myself first before others. I was liberated, just in those three days.

Okay, that was not entirely true. After I came back, I did a lot of soul searching. I escaped from the normality once a week, to stay away from work and the crowd, to be in touch with the nature, the water, and myself. I was reading fervently, trying to ask questions and understand deeper and deeper about life and my inner self. I was reading, thinking, analyzing, questioning, pondering, feeling, crying, walking, sitting, lying, bathing, swimming, eating, drinking, staying in silence, in the dark…completely alone.

I wanted to spend more time alone, therefore less time with you. I don’t think you understood that at all, why I was hiding from everyone on my day offs. I wanted to have a clear mind. I was also perhaps depressed, and I didn’t want to affect anyone. I knew no one could help me with my questions and my quest, so I stayed alone answering myself at the same time recharging and rejuvenating myself. I was slowly regaining strength and youth back. I looked much more alive and younger. I was getting happier without buying things or achieving more at work. In fact, I started to declutter my place, and see the significant difference in how I felt with more space around me. I needed so much space physically and mentally. I loved that feeling very much.

But I started to question if that would affect my work, which I left unattended after clocking it in basically (as opposed to putting more hours and effort after hours which I had been doing all along). I started to feel maybe this was not that important after all, nothing was that important after all, we were just here for an instant of a lifetime no? Who cared about success and purpose and legacy etc? I could live a very simple life anyway.

I also didn’t care to have a romantic relationship anymore. People changed too easily, unlike the old days, they were so committed to each other, for better or worse to the fact. Nowadays, people can just leave so easily, divorce is nothing new. Then why do we still care about having a “long term relationship” with anyone? Isn’t monogamy a joke? It’s in fact more of a serial monogamy, and if that’s the case (it is for most people), why don’t we have polygamy, polyamory, or open relationship? And maybe stating with a woman is better since men are from Mars and women Venus and they seem to never understand each other anyway? I started to question all of that as well.

I just feel tired of having a relationship. I don’t understand what it is for anymore. Maybe I had too much bad experience in the past that I have lost hope in men/people for that matter (not that I was ever involved with a woman romantically, you know I would admit if I did). Deep down I do not trust anyone. I cannot even trust myself. And if I were you, I wouldn’t have a relationship with me. So what is this all about? I shall be glad if anyone could answer my questions. And I am seriously thinking about celibacy, so that I can focus on gaining knowledge and building my work.

Thoughts anyone?