“I fucking love you.”

I think I fell in love tonight.

I never had this feeling before. Ever.

It was this most joyful kind of shivering deep inside my body when I was taking a cab on my way home from a fabulous i dinner followed by a walk at the beach.

The moment was so…beautiful.

And I felt truly deeply happy. Profoundly so.

And then I knew. I love this person.

I love this person so very much, so heart felt deeply inside my heart, like I have never loved before (I probably never had now I think about it). This, my friend, is real love. And I experienced it tonight.

I just know that I truly, genuinely, unconditionally love this person.

I love this person not because of the great brain, the beautiful smile, the nice body, the sexiness, the compassion, kindness and love, the talent and intelligence possessed etc (according to other people’s observation). I just love. I would love if this person appears ugly dumb or useless. I still love if this person is depressed, annoyed, angry and crazy sometimes. I also love even when this person is clumsy and silly or shy and asociable, or sometimes very bubbly and talkative and makes jokes that are not funny, or becomes all of a sudden serious and quiet. I just love all of it.

“I fucking love you.”

I said to myself tonight.

I Remember.

The time we had in bed was most beautiful.

It was not just because we were in the act of it.

It was the way you concentrated fully on me. The only time you ever put your whole focus on me. Or least in the act with me.

I could feel your full presence. The only moment, and the most precious moment we had together. I had the whole you with me. And that was most beautiful.

I wish we had more of it. But, still, those moments were truly sensational. Maybe it was just me who felt so much about everything, and you did not even care about it. But, still, they were splendid. For that I must thank you. And I certainly hope you enjoyed them too. Or at least felt something. Something that slightly touched your heart, which is so capable of ….

And I hope you are happy. Go for it, you need it. Find someone else to be happy with, and to …. (I might not be the one whom you thought worth your while to …. but surely there would be someone you could find to do so)

I would recommend you read a book by Osho, called “Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other”. Truly beautiful and insightful book. What a human being Osho was. How intelligent and funny at the same time.

I do still remember…