We can argue all we want. We stop communicating with each other. We swear we don’t want to see each other anymore. We fight, we cry. We point our fingers at each other and yell, screaming at the top of our lungs. “You are so wrong. I hate you!”
But we both know, it’s not true.
We know deep inside, we love each other, very very much. We say the opposite because sometimes we feel hurt and misunderstood. We thought if we accused each other of his/her wrong doings, maybe, just maybe, s/he would understand us that we care, that, we just want to be loved and accepted of who we are.
Love doesn’t come easily. Love hurts. It seems ironic, that we hurt the one we love most, and at the same time we are hurt most by the one we love.
Life is contradictory that way. Love is contradictory that way.
Yet we also know, s/he accepts the way we are and is still there for us no matter how ugly the last fight had been.
So although we felt hurt, misunderstood, stabbed-in-the-heart-kind-of-pain by the other party, we still go back to each other, after one day, one week, one year or more. Because, we know, we love each other deeply no matter what.
So let me tell you one more time, like there is no tomorrow, that, “I love you. I truly do. Please forgive me if I ever hurt you so. And I know, you love me too. We are both blessed to have each other in this life, and we should do everything we can to cherish this love.”
At the end of the day, the only thing that we regret most is not to tell each other how much we love and treasure each other…
At the end of the day, let me just say it one more time, “I love you. I truly do.”
Do it Today!Since you are reading my post now, I am sure that you are, just as I am, eager to make the most out of this precious life and want to know how. I, just like you, have the same exact question, and am desperately looking for the answer.
I am most certain that you have been reading a lot of books and blogs on personal growth, “be positive, charge forward, be courageous and do the best you ever can like there is no tomorrow”, etc etc. You might have also been reading about how those big shots become successful by developing the right kind of mindset, attitude, habit and routine etc etc.
But my first guess is, you,
just like me, have tried to be positive and proactive and tried everything you have read and learnt so far but still haven’t seen much progress or improvement in your personal life or career (maybe it there has been yet it seems unsustainable). You, just like me, are starting to wonder if you are ever going to make something big out of yourselves and make your dreams come true. And you, just like me, would trade almost anything to find out the answer, because I know that you, just like me, are so ready to work every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy, so that you can go full throttle towards realizing your dreams.
I hope so much I have the answer for me that when I am marching forward towards my dream, I can offer it to you and together we can change the world to be a much better and more beautiful place.
Unfortunately, I don’t have my answer just yet, and my second guess is, the answer for me is most likely not the same exact answer for you.
What a pity in life. Wouldn’t it be great if there’s the same solution to the same problem for everyone in the world?
On second thought, not really.
I think each of our lives is unique in its own way. And in order to create our very own special lives individually, we all need to find our own answers and solutions. That is what makes each of our life journey and experience so beautifully unique, each of its own way. And, to be able to live a unique life, each of us will (and has already) go through something marvelous, something brutal, something enjoyable, and something painful. In order to fully understand the meaning of beauty and joy, one must have experienced ugliness and sadness. It’s through all the trial and error does one come to gradually understand him/herself, because believe me, I don’t think you really know who you are inside. I am just starting to know who I really am myself, while for all this time I thought I knew me so well. Sometimes I hide the real me so deep inside me even I have deceived myself all these years. I am just getting to know “me”.
Now I am digging the real me out and getting her to be face to face with the not-so-real-me (ok getting a bit split personality here, I swear I am not crazy… Or aren’t we all a little, crazy?). I want her to tell me the truth. Oh yes, the truth.
“What exactly do you want for your life? I am not talking about what you have done before, or not even what you’ve been doing now. They do not matter. What truly matters is what you do now can give you what you really want in the future, that soon-to-be beautiful life of yours, the dream-come-true. So tell me now, honestly, what do you really want in your life?”
At first, she bites her lips and does not say a word. I await with patience. I know, I have to.
At first, she tries to lie. But I know her after all.
Gradually she starts to become less shy and embarrassed. She starts to talk and feel less ashamed of what she truly wants all this time. She is starting to learn to trust me and reveal her secret, which I believe will lead to the truth, the answer that I have set my eyes for my whole life…
So I think, my dear readers, that it’s
time for you to go dig out the real you who have been living inside you forever, and ask him/her for the truth you so desperately want all these years. I am quite sure that will help you find out the answer on “how to live my life to the fullest”.
There were times I felt that life was unfair for me. I wished I were born in a wealthier and more educated family, that I were raised by a pair of more caring and loving more encouraging and less abusive parents, that I were
given more opportunities while young to learn, explore and see the world, etc etc. I felt jealous when I saw others had more resources and were grown up with better background. I just wished I were given the same that I knew I could have achieved even more than them…
But those wishes are over. First is that I know and accept that life is indeed unfair. How about those children who are growing up in third world countries, with extreme poverty and even worse, in war zone day in and day out, with no clear water, no electricity, no food, no safety, and no education? Perhaps even without parents? How about those women, who are looked down as the second class citizens, who are threatened, punished or even killed when raped? Do I have more to complain about now?
I know, I was lack of many things, yet I also know, I have a lot to be thankful for. I remember my mother used to say to me whenever I felt frustrated with where my life was going, “you are not at the bottom of the pyramid, and you are not at the top. You are in much better position than many people.” To that I annoyingly replied, “yes mother that is true, but you cannot compare me to those at the bottom! I want to be better and go up and higher!” I was always very grumpy and upset when things did not go exactly the way I wanted them to be.
Last night, after dinner with my parents, I suddenly said to my mother, “I think I am alright. I look okay, I have a decent work and income, I get to do things and travel when I like to, I have many basic needs covered. I think I have a good life: I am quite satisfied and I should be content and grateful at this stage, although certainly I still want to and would improve myself in many ways.” I could tell that my mother was a little surprised by my comments, to which she responded with a gentle nod of consent.
I am still from time to time dissatisfied with many aspects of my life and myself: the way I look, the body I have, the career I take, the relationships I am in… Nonetheless, in the middle of this dissatisfaction and the swirl of this chaotic world, I know very well that, there is so much that I should be and am grateful for, that I have a wonderful life, because, I get to live, I get to breathe, I get to see, hear and feel; I get to enjoy my life on my own and share it with others, and, I get to write it down for you to read here. Life is absolutely amazing and fantastic this way, don’t you think so?
A couple weeks ago, I accidentally stumbled into a little endearing cake shop when I was looking for a café for a nice cup of cappuccino and to wind down after some stressful work.
I was hesitant to walk in at first (because I didn’t want to have desserts), however, I was attracted by the clean yet elegant dècor of the shop. I stood in front of the lovely cake display, trying to resist the temptation of consuming any of them. My strong will against such temptation was tested by the pastry chef, whom to me initially seemed cool and well composed, yet later was completely warmed up and excited when started her detailed description about each of her creation: the lovely cakes.
To be honest, I wasn’t in the mood for any of the cakes, despite the fact that they all looked so pretty. But as the chef enthusiastically told me the ideas she created and the little steps she took behind each cake creation, I found all of them so deliciously enticing that I just wanted to try them all! The passion infused in her talk showed me her seriousness in creating her ideas and tremendous effort in making her dreams come true. Such passion resonated well inside me too, reminding me that there were still people out there fighting for their dreams every single day.
I could not resist the temptation but to have a baguette. It was wonderful, one of the few best baguettes I have ever had.
What are your dreams and how do you fight for them? Or have you forgotten what they are and hidden them somewhere deep inside you unrealized?
I hope you all have a productive week ahead, getting closer and closer to make your dreams come true!
Today I want to share with you all this message today:
Live. Love. Matter.
– by Brendon Burchard
I know, this guy might sound a bit repetitive and too energetic and positive to the point annoying at times, but hey, I think it really works, at least for him, and I believe for a lot of his readers like me as well.
His recurring idea is, “At the end of our lives, we are going to ask ourselves these three questions:”
If you are going to watch only one video of his, this is it: here you go: Brendon Burchard
(Anyway, the other videos of his are quite redundant after a while.)
I also found this other video on another website, but this site posts clearly the ten points from the video so if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing you can still benefit from reading the mina points quickly):
So, that’s what I have been thinking, what is my niche, what is my expertise, what should I be doing or changing to become bigger and more inspiring to other people and make a difference to the world?
It turns out I don’t have to move away from what I am already doing and what I already know. I only have to focus on it and become the expertise that everyone goes to.
And you know how I discovered that? I asked for help. By talking about it with other people who knows you and in the business, they helped me clarify my ideas. Instead of trying to figuring out all by myself in my head and do things on my own, I took time to clear my mind and discuss with others. That was such an awesome mind-blowing experience. Now I know what to do! Hurray!!
I believe everyone has a mission in life, only s/he hasn’t found out what it is yet. Keep searching, at the same time keep living. Focus on this moment, right here right now. When you worry too much about the future, it makes your head even more messed up. I’ve been there, done it, and am trying not to go there that often!
You all have a fantastic weekend, you lovely people out there! SelfWonderxoxo
Sometimes I just feel like doing whatever I feel like doing. Or more than sometimes. More like a lot of the times. Other times I just try to control myself not doing the things I feel like doing because I feel they might be wrong and I might feel bad later after having them done.
Sometimes I wonder, what is wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Do others feel like this all the time too, all this ups and downs emotion like roller coaster? Or is it an excuse for being an artist, I just have to feel like this for the sake of my art?
I don’t know. I don’t really have an answer for that. I just want to feel more stable emotionally. But I do feel sometimes, when I am more calm emotionally with less ups and downs, my creativity suffers a little, or more than a little.
Anyway, that’s just the way life is, isn’t it?
Like the way it says in this book I’ve been reading, the Meditator’s Guide, that change is constant, so it’s part of my life to feel joyful and serene at times and lost and restless at the other. When we accept the constant change of state of mind and emotion instead of trying to stay always in happiness and contentment (because we can never been satisfied all the time, let’s face it), then we will have no more suffering, because we are not trying to be anything. We are just being us and accept the situation as is. Like when we miss someone but we do not want to keep thinking about them, if we force ourselves to not thinking about them, what happens is that we would keep thinking about them and start getting upset or even depressed about why we cannot stop thinking about these people! Instead we should just let this thought happen and watch it rise and fall as is. Just accept its presence, observe it and let it happen. Don’t try to control it. Eventually, you would find it leave quickly as well, much quicker than you try to push it away.
It’s the same for things that we want them to happen. When we keep thinking why they don’t happen just yet, we need to understand things sometimes do not happen at the time we want them to. Of course there are things we need to do sometimes to make the things we want to happen happen. But they still might appear at their own terms, since I am sure these things are not controlled by us who are not the only party of the whole situation here, as there are other parties involved in having those things we want to happen happen as well. So what we can do is to do our best in the situation and just wait. Wait for the other parties to respond and contribute to the situation and make it happen. And in the meantime, forget about when it’s going to happen. Simply let it unfold in its own term, because, sometimes, or most of the time really, when we force something to happen or even just happen earlier, when we desire, we suffer. When we want, we are dissatisfied when our needs are not met. So just try our best, and watch. Let things happen when their time comes. If they happen, great. If they don’t, we did not waste time in worrying about when they would happen between now and then, right?
I hope you all are having a peaceful and mindful week, my wonderful readers.
I sincerely urge you to all read it. I find it as a fantastic reminder for me. Here are a few especially great points the writer makes:
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”
The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
…making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.
And most importantly for me, these two sentences just shone in front of my eyes as I read along, the light bulb in my head immediately lit up:
Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.
So there you go if you don’t have time to read the whole article – but, please do! I am sure you will find it useful too!
Have a wonderful weekend ahead you all lovely readers out there! xoxo 🙂
P.S. Here is a photo from my last adventure hehe ~
I just want to say what’s on my mind about you and that’s it. You don’t have to do anything about it. Just please read this through.
I think when two person meet, there is a reason for that. There is already a connection between the two and there is a lesson to learn from each other. From our brief encounter I would say you can be a loving and caring person, but perhaps from your past experience you were hurt and you shut down easily when you encountered some initial failure during our meetings because you wanted to stop being hurt and feeling pain again. You have to know that you are not the only one who is afraid of that feeling. Being vulnerable in love and relationship can be the worst feeling in the world, but without it one will not be able to experience love in its true form. It is indeed a very scary thing. I am afraid of that feeling as well. But I also want to try again and have that true form of love again, no matter how much and/or if it’s going to hurt again. Well I am still scared of that but I am willing to take the risk with the right person.
I know you have the same question,
how do we know if that’s the right person? I don’t know for sure either. But like you said, if you feel that’s the right person, then that’s it. Maybe that’s it, I am not sure myself either. It can be anyone you feel s/he is, you just can never be sure until you really have tried your best to find out. After all, I think, love is a choice. But love is a feeling and faith as well. One has to be brave enough to take that leap of faith and jump right in, and be courageous enough to stick with it and work on it with the other person. Love is a wonderful feeling isn’t it?
You told me you felt empty. I did not forget about the reason why you felt so. But I want to tell you that you do not have to feel that way. You need to love yourself well first. You are a fine person and you really should know and address that in your mind. If you don’t know that then let me tell you again and again: you are a wonderful and loving person, please love yourself first, then start to love others, because you are full of love and are capable of giving and receiving love in return. If you really do not want to feel empty anymore, please, start loving yourself now and start loving the person you want to be in love with. Then, the love you will receive from the one you love shall fill your heart fully, because it is a love of interaction and co-dependence. It is a love of giving and receiving. It is a love of acceptance and forgiveness. It is a love in its true sense of form. Love between two person is not perfect, there is always struggle, we all have to accept that and work with that. But when we stand firm and deal with that struggle with our partner together, we make that love and bond stronger every single day and every single time we tackle a new obstacle. Or at least that is what I believe in.
So there you go. This is pretty much what I wanted to tell you. You gave me something that I thought I would never feel again. For that I thank you. Now good luck and have a good life. I wish you will find your true love. And myself mine as well.
Living in the Moment and Loving every single minute of it!
I finally understand it, when I truly accept and love myself for who I am, I am completely happy, I mean, completely.
I forgot that I was alone the whole time in this journey. In fact, I have been so submerged in the whole process I have been enjoying this travel so very much. I was afraid that I might get bored and feel alone after a while. But it didn’t happen. On the contrary, I feel exactly because I am traveling alone that I am being very spontaneous and for this reason I can truly enjoy whatever my heart sets itself to.
This journey has been wonderfully amazing. I shall update you all with more details, and perhaps, photos too.
Self Wonder 