You love a song, a book, a hobby, a place, a person.
Yes you can explain in great details why you love them, the most technical analytical way.
But at the end of the day, it all comes down to the feeling, the sensation inside your body they have given you. the chill and the joy you feel when you think about them or best, experience them.
There is this exhilarating joy you don’t even know where it comes from. But you feel it and it is real to you. You don’t even know how to describe it exactly to anyone else, but certainly those who have experienced that feeling would understand it in their own way.
There is also this true sense of pure contentment about life. You feel complete and whole. You feel life is so great, and you are invincible. You never feel so alive before. Now you know how to live for the first time.
You find love is real, even the finding seems unreal to you. You live in a paradise right now you never knew it existed.
Suddenly everything is perfect and nothing can get to you. You are just so happy and content you don’t even bother to have a small cringe on your face. You just can’t.
Your mouth is in the constant state of curling up. Somehow it doesn’t know how to curl down at its two corners anymore. You are simply too happy to do so.
Your heart is pure and its in its right place. It’s calm and it’s passionate and its full and its clear. Mostly it’s beating as hard as it has ever been. It’s alive!
Love is love is love is love is love. It is explicable and it is inexplicable.
It is a decent legitimate question, and a question that I ask myself from time to time, often replacing the number “five” with “three” or “ten”.
Suddenly, it dawns on me that, the question I should ask myself is,
“Where do I want to be in my life years?”
The question is not about three or five or ten years anymore. It is about the lifetime, the lifetime ahead that is left for me.
The direction for that answer becomes completely different.
It is not with whom I want to be right now. It is with whom I want to be for my life, the person who would add value and color to my life, which would become bigger, brighter and with more substance.
It is not with whom I can have fun right now, rather it is the person with whom I can have long term fun and adventure with.
It is not what I can do to make a living right now, but, the kind of work I can make good living and at the same time spend my life adding value to and feeling joy with myself and others.
It is not where I want to be for five years anymore, rather, it is a space and a community in which I can be the person I want to be, with that person I can be with, and that work I can do in the long run.
It is not the life I want to be in for now, but the lifestyle I can live with freely, joyfully, positively and with the least restraint and constraint I can have.
As I find everyone is just so shallow. Or at least the way s/he is living in. But hey, if s/he chooses to do so, that really means s/he is shallow because s/he cannot care less one way or other? Doesn’t really think about living his/her life to the fullest? Or at least doing/feeling something meaningful or purposeful? Something more deep and … profound? – I just don’t know what other word to use than this. “Profound” is simply, profound. And I just want to be, in awe with it.
And I am not even smoking anything. Absolutely nothing. Maybe I would feel better smoking something. But I don’t really.
Tonight I watched a movie called “Boy meets Girl”. Hey, before you want to judge me, it is not the kind of cheesy movie you are thinking of. I mean, it was a little profound. Or at least, thought-provoking. And I just feel, a tiny bit, just a tiny weeny tinny bit, like the transvestite. Not that I am or want to be one. Ever. I really don’t think so, or have every fantasized of becoming one. Nope. A woman’s body is too precious and beautiful to be ruined by a phallic symbol (and two disgusting sagging balls on the loose like two Adam’s apples dangling at the neck of a cock, I mean a rooster), seriously.
I just felt (feel), misunderstood.
Anyhow, I still yearn for something profound. I don’t exactly know what it is. Perhaps something spiritual, or something bigger than the human kind. Anyhow, human is shit. Seriously. There is nothing more disgusting and evil than the human race, I can assure you on that one. Doesn’t mean all humans are foul. No, because obviously, you are so very kind to be reading my post right now that, you must be a very sweet and generous person, right? Hahaha… 😀
The No! first (say BYE to the last quarter and all the wrongs behind)- ended as of March 31, 2015 :
1. Fuck love. (the fake ones anyway)
2. Fuck men. (or more appropriately, they can go fuck themselves, those ungrateful bastards)
3. Fuck those selfish, life sucking, grumpy, non-supportive, take-you-for-granted people. (and that can include family)
4. Fuck men you fucked before who were too stupid and egoistic enough to see that you were the best thing ever happened to them. They can now really go fuck themselves (coz you are not there anymore, and yes, it seems redundant as no.2, but I am still going to repeat this).
5. Fuck stress and anger.
6. Fuck boredom and emotion.
7. Fuck being poor and worried about $$$.
8. Fuck being disorganized and lost in life (all aspects: personal, work, financial, diet etc).
9. Fuck not supporting yourself and love yourself (coz you totally deserve to be supported and loved).
10. Fuck being a chick shit and fear of taking risk.
THE MOST INTERESTING WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE… :
And now to the YES!!! to a new beautiful positive fun awesome life – starting as of April 1 2015 which is TODAY! :
1. ME: Love Me. Me. Me.
2. Business. $$$.
3. Adventure. Wherever life takes me.
4. Health (all aspects). FUN.
5. Live my life, like I have never lived before.
6. Love. (if I ever find it, I know contradictory to the top 1, so I have reservations on this point).
7. True friends. Form a trust circle with them.
8. Create something that is larger than life: Art.
9. Create something that is larger than my life: Helping people and change the world for the better. Create jobs for others. bring them education. Bring them freedom.
Today, I think about you. I don’t know why, but once in a while, I think about you. I think about all the witty conversation we had, all the fun times we shared, and all the heartfelt almost intimate moments that we felt…
And I remember, it is your birthday today. If it really is your birthday, I wish you a great year ahead, full of joy and love. The kind of love that you deserve to have, because you are an awesome human being as I have always known you to be, even if you don’t know that yourself.
I’ve been waiting for my whole life. To hear that line.
To feel, to understand, to be appreciated.
Sometimes I feel, I don’t need it. I don’t need anyone’s approval.
What am I, a four-year-old child? A pet?
At times I feel, I don’t need anyone anymore. I can live off on a remote island, in the countryside alone, or some monastery, being religious, devoted fully to God and all.
But I also understand, I need connection.
I, however tough that I am, however independent that I am, I, do need people.
People to love, people to be in love with, people to love one another.
That is what life is worth living for.
We all, need that connection in life.
No one is an island.
So, no matter where you are, how you are doing, what situation you are in, how you are feeling.
I want you to know, that I, am absolutely proud of you.
I am proud of who you are, what you have gone through and still are staying strong.
I am proud of you, even at times you feel you cannot keep going on, you still try to hang in there, that even you might numb yourself at night with whatever means you get to and are comfortable with, you still wake up in the next morning/day, try to be someone, try to make something of yourself. You still try to work hard and be the best for those around you, especially for those you are close to. Because you know, deep inside, you want to show them that you care about them, that they would still stand up every day and try to make the best out of themselves no matter how tough the situation they are in.
It’s called “pay it forward.”
Because, when you try to be tough and caring for someone else, you also gain another day to live.
Helping others helps yourself. It’s that simple.
So today, get out there, and help others. Focus on other people, especially when you feel like you can’t keep going on.
When you focus on helping others, you feel good. And then you understand, even when you feel you are absolutely helpless/worthless, you, are enough. You are important to others. And you know that deep inside you. You only need to be reminded. By focusing on others.
So today, no matter how terrible you got knocked down yesterday. You get back up. And you go out there, and be who you want to be.
Because you my Friend, are worth it.
And I your Friend, am proud of you. Absolutely, 100% proud of you.
Everyday is the day to make that change, to become the person you always want to be.
The day is today.
Seize every chance you get. Take it. And do it.
Make every minute count. Live every day as if it’s the last day of your life. You don’t know how long your life would last. Don’t leave anything undone and any words unsaid.
Life is boundless as much as you make of it! It’s an open road ahead of you! Walk on and keep going towards your dream!!
What is the intrinsic value of life? I think it’s love. And I am not talking about romantic love only. I am talking about love and respect for each other, be compassionate to the mankind and other living creatures on Earth in general.
I long for joining a community in which the inhabitants are genuine, loving and caring, and they embrace each other with open and pure hearts with no reservation, that they do not live their lives and what they should own or have according to the rules the majorities and the materialistic world out there say and set. The only rule they have is to keep an open mind and share love with one another. Not even the most expensive materialistic thing in this world can ever be more precious than this ever.
I know I might sound like a dreamer living in the Fantasyworld (is that why people-not just kids but also adults- love the Disneyland so much? Perhaps they should create one there!), but really I think a lot of people out there are refused to love and stick to cheating and lying not because they do not want to love or be loved, rather they had loved and been burnt by love to the extent that they would not want to take the risk of experiencing that awfully painful feeling all over again.
I understand that feeling perfectly. I’ve been there and done that. I sometimes swear to myself that I would not fall in love with anyone ever again. Why bother to fall in it and fall back out again? What a waste of time and energy!
But then, when I see my family, when I spend time with my niece, I feel, loved and I want to, love. Watching a child rejoice at a smallest matter is the most wondrous heart-warming pleasure one can ever experience. Every time after I hanged out with my niece or other small children I don’t know well at some volunteering workplace- whether it be running around in the playground or teaching them how to write – I just feel marvelous and rejuvenated yet again. They have that spark in their eyes that speak of dreams and hopes. It’s like having a sip of the holy water from the fountain of life that I regain the youthful strength to continue with yet another week of challenge. The love for a child is such a powerful reminder in life.
Let us embrace Life and Love fully together this week, wherever you might be in any part of the world!
We can argue all we want. We stop communicating with each other. We swear we don’t want to see each other anymore. We fight, we cry. We point our fingers at each other and yell, screaming at the top of our lungs. “You are so wrong. I hate you!”
But we both know, it’s not true.
We know deep inside, we love each other, very very much. We say the opposite because sometimes we feel hurt and misunderstood. We thought if we accused each other of his/her wrong doings, maybe, just maybe, s/he would understand us that we care, that, we just want to be loved and accepted of who we are.
Love doesn’t come easily. Love hurts. It seems ironic, that we hurt the one we love most, and at the same time we are hurt most by the one we love.
Life is contradictory that way. Love is contradictory that way.
Yet we also know, s/he accepts the way we are and is still there for us no matter how ugly the last fight had been.
So although we felt hurt, misunderstood, stabbed-in-the-heart-kind-of-pain by the other party, we still go back to each other, after one day, one week, one year or more. Because, we know, we love each other deeply no matter what.
So let me tell you one more time, like there is no tomorrow, that, “I love you. I truly do. Please forgive me if I ever hurt you so. And I know, you love me too. We are both blessed to have each other in this life, and we should do everything we can to cherish this love.”
At the end of the day, the only thing that we regret most is not to tell each other how much we love and treasure each other…
At the end of the day, let me just say it one more time, “I love you. I truly do.”
Do it Today!Since you are reading my post now, I am sure that you are, just as I am, eager to make the most out of this precious life and want to know how. I, just like you, have the same exact question, and am desperately looking for the answer.
I am most certain that you have been reading a lot of books and blogs on personal growth, “be positive, charge forward, be courageous and do the best you ever can like there is no tomorrow”, etc etc. You might have also been reading about how those big shots become successful by developing the right kind of mindset, attitude, habit and routine etc etc.
But my first guess is, you,
just like me, have tried to be positive and proactive and tried everything you have read and learnt so far but still haven’t seen much progress or improvement in your personal life or career (maybe it there has been yet it seems unsustainable). You, just like me, are starting to wonder if you are ever going to make something big out of yourselves and make your dreams come true. And you, just like me, would trade almost anything to find out the answer, because I know that you, just like me, are so ready to work every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy, so that you can go full throttle towards realizing your dreams.
I hope so much I have the answer for me that when I am marching forward towards my dream, I can offer it to you and together we can change the world to be a much better and more beautiful place.
Unfortunately, I don’t have my answer just yet, and my second guess is, the answer for me is most likely not the same exact answer for you.
What a pity in life. Wouldn’t it be great if there’s the same solution to the same problem for everyone in the world?
On second thought, not really.
I think each of our lives is unique in its own way. And in order to create our very own special lives individually, we all need to find our own answers and solutions. That is what makes each of our life journey and experience so beautifully unique, each of its own way. And, to be able to live a unique life, each of us will (and has already) go through something marvelous, something brutal, something enjoyable, and something painful. In order to fully understand the meaning of beauty and joy, one must have experienced ugliness and sadness. It’s through all the trial and error does one come to gradually understand him/herself, because believe me, I don’t think you really know who you are inside. I am just starting to know who I really am myself, while for all this time I thought I knew me so well. Sometimes I hide the real me so deep inside me even I have deceived myself all these years. I am just getting to know “me”.
Now I am digging the real me out and getting her to be face to face with the not-so-real-me (ok getting a bit split personality here, I swear I am not crazy… Or aren’t we all a little, crazy?). I want her to tell me the truth. Oh yes, the truth.
“What exactly do you want for your life? I am not talking about what you have done before, or not even what you’ve been doing now. They do not matter. What truly matters is what you do now can give you what you really want in the future, that soon-to-be beautiful life of yours, the dream-come-true. So tell me now, honestly, what do you really want in your life?”
At first, she bites her lips and does not say a word. I await with patience. I know, I have to.
At first, she tries to lie. But I know her after all.
Gradually she starts to become less shy and embarrassed. She starts to talk and feel less ashamed of what she truly wants all this time. She is starting to learn to trust me and reveal her secret, which I believe will lead to the truth, the answer that I have set my eyes for my whole life…
So I think, my dear readers, that it’s
time for you to go dig out the real you who have been living inside you forever, and ask him/her for the truth you so desperately want all these years. I am quite sure that will help you find out the answer on “how to live my life to the fullest”.
Self Wonder 