The story of Craigslist

The story of Craigslist


I love reading on Craigslist. Especially the personal section.
Actually, mainly the personal section.

Of course I would also go to the community section or job section sometimes. Or sales section to see if anyone sells some decent furniture etc. But still, mainly the personal section.


And mostly, the men seeking women (msw) and the strictly platonic. Sometimes the missed connection and the rants and raves. But the latter two are usually boring and not much going on there.


I browse the msw almost everyday. In the city where I live CL is not that common among the locals. Most people who use it are from abroad where they are so used to looking for anything there from rental to sex (well almost the same thing).


I love browsing the personal page a lot. Sometimes I am looking for a good conversation. Other times I am just curious about the posts and more so, the persons who are writing them. The way s/he writes shows to certain extent who s/he is. In fact, just by the way the post is written I can already decide how the person might be like, and if I want to know more or not.

Since I am a female, I mostly read the men seeking women. But sometimes I would also read the women seeking men. The reason is that I like seeing how the stark difference there is between the way women post and men write. In the women seeking men, women are almost always looking for long term relationship, love of their lives, and marriage. In the men seeking women, it’s sex. Well sometimes it says LTR and dating, but they are just synonyms of sex. There are times that say marriage but I figure it’s most likely scams. Ok some might be true, but they are mostly white males in their sixties looking for Asian women in their twenties. It seems gross and almost perverted that way. I don’t know why men think it’s okay to say they want to date someone less than half of their age and do not feel slightly ashamed about it. In fact it seems they are so confident and even proud of their pursuit. They think they have the financial means to save the poor little Asian girls and bring them to the western civilized countries and that makes them crusades or saviors of some sort. I can’t even keep talking about this without feeling almost physically sick.


If this post interests you my readers, I shall write more about my experience on CL.


Cheers. Have an exciting day ahead you all!


Peace,
SelfWonder

Overcoming Fear

Perhaps I have not been grateful enough.

I always ask, when things don’t go smoothly as I want to, “Why me?? Why do I always have to suffer?” I would feel the whole world has conspired to fight against me.

I guess I have been too narcissistic. Too much ego. Who cares so much about me anyway?

And I always say I am here in this world to help others. Sounds very cathartic, doesn’t it?

I still think that’s my life purpose, to serve and inspire others. But, I come to realize, if I don’t start taking better care of myself, I won’t be able to fully utilize my talent to live up to the life purpose I aspire to.

So, starting from today, I learn to love and take care of myself more. I start to understand and address my emotion first before others. I need to be able to truly express how I feel about things and people without the fear that I might not be accepted. I want to be living mindfully every single day, remembering all the great things and people I have in life without too much worry about tomorrow whether I continue to have them or not.

Thank you Thay for your words. You truly inspire me. What a great master in life and writing. I think I really need to study my French harder in order to understand all his talks.

But for now, I will finish this book first 🙂

Try it. It’s fun and inspiring !

Take a break and keep going.

Sometimes. Life is hard. We stumble. We fall. We fail. We cry. We sleep. We lay awake. But, we have to continue. Because, if you stop, there will be nothing else tomorrow. Besides, you never know what lies ahead. And it can be something absolutely beautiful and amazing.

Keep going. You never know what lies ahead.

“I am Proud of You.”

I’ve been waiting for my whole life. To hear that line.

To feel, to understand, to be appreciated.

Sometimes I feel, I don’t need it. I don’t need anyone’s approval.

What am I, a four-year-old child? A pet?

At times I feel, I don’t need anyone anymore. I can live off on a remote island, in the countryside alone, or some monastery, being religious, devoted fully to God and all.

But I also understand, I need connection.

I, however tough that I am, however independent that I am, I, do need people.

People to love, people to be in love with, people to love one another.

That is what life is worth living for.

We all, need that connection in life.

No one is an island.

So, no matter where you are, how you are doing, what situation you are in, how you are feeling.

I want you to know, that I, am absolutely proud of you.

I am proud of who you are, what you have gone through and still are staying strong.

I am proud of you, even at times you feel you cannot keep going on, you still try to hang in there, that even you might numb yourself at night with whatever means you get to and are comfortable with, you still wake up in the next morning/day, try to be someone, try to make something of yourself. You still try to work hard and be the best for those around you, especially for those you are close to. Because you know, deep inside, you want to show them that you care about them, that they would still stand up every day and try to make the best out of themselves no matter how tough the situation they are in.

It’s called “pay it forward.”

Because, when you try to be tough and caring for someone else, you also gain another day to live.

Helping others helps yourself. It’s that simple.

So today, get out there, and help others. Focus on other people, especially when you feel like you can’t keep going on.

When you focus on helping others, you feel good. And then you understand, even when you feel you are absolutely helpless/worthless, you, are enough. You are important to others. And you know that deep inside you. You only need to be reminded. By focusing on others.

So today, no matter how terrible you got knocked down yesterday. You get back up. And you go out there, and be who you want to be.

Because you my Friend, are worth it.

And I your Friend, am proud of you. Absolutely, 100% proud of you.

Peace out. Namaste.

Be good to yourself. Be proud. And be strong.

The Intrinsic Value of Life

Life is boundless as much as you make of it! It’s an open road ahead of you! Walk on and keep going towards your dream!!

What is the intrinsic value of life? I think it’s love. And I am not talking about romantic love only. I am talking about love and respect for each other, be compassionate to the mankind and other living creatures on Earth in general.
I long for joining a community in which the inhabitants are genuine, loving and caring, and they embrace each other with open and pure hearts with no reservation, that they do not live their lives and what they should own or have according to the rules the majorities and the materialistic world out there say and set. The only rule they have is to keep an open mind and share love with one another. Not even the most expensive materialistic thing in this world can ever be more precious than this ever.

I know I might sound like a dreamer living in the Fantasyworld (is that why people-not just kids but also adults- love the Disneyland so much? Perhaps they should create one there!), but really I think a lot of people out there are refused to love and stick to cheating and lying not because they do not want to love or be loved, rather they had loved and been burnt by love to the extent that they would not want to take the risk of experiencing that awfully painful feeling all over again.

I understand that feeling perfectly. I’ve been there and done that. I sometimes swear to myself that I would not fall in love with anyone ever again. Why bother to fall in it and fall back out again? What a waste of time and energy!

But then, when I see my family, when I spend time with my niece, I feel, loved and I want to, love. Watching a child rejoice at a smallest matter is the most wondrous heart-warming pleasure one can ever experience. Every time after I hanged out with my niece or other small children I don’t know well at some volunteering workplace- whether it be running around in the playground or teaching them how to write – I just feel marvelous and rejuvenated yet again. They have that spark in their eyes that speak of dreams and hopes. It’s like having a sip of the holy water from the fountain of life that I regain the youthful strength to continue with yet another week of challenge. The love for a child is such a powerful reminder in life.

Let us embrace Life and Love fully together this week, wherever you might be in any part of the world!

I look forward to a beautiful tomorrow.

Yummy breakfast to look forward to!!




Night falls. It’s time for bed.
A full day of hard work is completed. Still feeling energetic, I know it’s time to go get rest and be ready for tomorrow.

Indeed, recently in the last few days, I’ve been looking forward to go to bed early so that I can wake up the next day feeling energized and refreshed. And for some reason, perhaps healthier/cleaner diet and even more exercises, I feel so much more alive mentally and alert physically throughout the day and do not get tired as easily like I did before.

But I think there is some other reason, and that is I’m starting to have clearer idea of what I want in my life.

For the past year or two, I was merely going through the days instead of living them. Gradually, I was learning to understand what I did not want in life. Now, I am getting to know what I really want for myself in the future, and I am getting totally excited about making it happen, by trying new things and experiences. Of course, I still have my doubts and fear, that at times I just want to stop and quit trying. I have to admit that although I consider myself to be quite a brave person, sometimes I am still a bit scared. I worry about failing. What if it doesn’t work? Won’t I be wasting my time and effort into it? But deep inside I know, I want to keep trying and make it happen, no matter how hard it would be and how much time it might require to get there, I am still willing to see to it.

You know why? Because I only have one life to live. Life is wasted when I spend too much time and effort on how I can do wrong instead of how I can make right, or at least make happen.

So tonight I am grateful for what I’ve done today, that I’ve tried something new and made the most out of the day. Now I shall get rest and look forward to wake up to another beautiful tomorrow.

Have a wonderful day you all! X

We all want to live our lives to the fullest, but how?

Do it Today!

Since you are reading my post now, I am sure that you are, just as I am, eager to make the most out of this precious life and want to know how. I, just like you, have the same exact question, and am desperately looking for the answer.

I am most certain that you have been reading a lot of books and blogs on personal growth, “be positive, charge forward, be courageous and do the best you ever can like there is no tomorrow”, etc etc. You might have also been reading about how those big shots become successful by developing the right kind of mindset, attitude, habit and routine etc etc.

But my first guess is, you,
just like me, have tried to be positive and proactive and tried everything you have read and learnt so far but still haven’t seen much progress or improvement in your personal life or career (maybe it there has been yet it seems unsustainable). You, just like me, are starting to wonder if you are ever going to make something big out of yourselves and make your dreams come true. And you, just like me, would trade almost anything to find out the answer, because I know that you, just like me, are so ready to work every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy, so that you can go full throttle towards realizing your dreams.

I hope so much I have the answer for me that when I am marching forward towards my dream, I can offer it to you and together we can change the world to be a much better and more beautiful place.

Unfortunately, I don’t have my answer just yet, and my second guess is, the answer for me is most likely not the same exact answer for you.

What a pity in life. Wouldn’t it be great if there’s the same solution to the same problem for everyone in the world?

On second thought, not really.

I think each of our lives is unique in its own way. And in order to create our very own special lives individually, we all need to find our own answers and solutions. That is what makes each of our life journey and experience so beautifully unique, each of its own way. And, to be able to live a unique life, each of us will (and has already) go through something marvelous, something brutal, something enjoyable, and something painful. In order to fully understand the meaning of beauty and joy, one must have experienced ugliness and sadness. It’s through all the trial and error does one come to gradually understand him/herself, because believe me, I don’t think you really know who you are inside. I am just starting to know who I really am myself, while for all this time I thought I knew me so well. Sometimes I hide the real me so deep inside me even I have deceived myself all these years. I am just getting to know “me”.

Now I am digging the real me out and getting her to be face to face with the not-so-real-me (ok getting a bit split personality here, I swear I am not crazy… Or aren’t we all a little, crazy?). I want her to tell me the truth. Oh yes, the truth.

“What exactly do you want for your life? I am not talking about what you have done before, or not even what you’ve been doing now. They do not matter. What truly matters is what you do now can give you what you really want in the future, that soon-to-be beautiful life of yours, the dream-come-true. So tell me now, honestly, what do you really want in your life?”

At first, she bites her lips and does not say a word. I await with patience. I know, I have to.

At first, she tries to lie. But I know her after all.

Gradually she starts to become less shy and embarrassed. She starts to talk and feel less ashamed of what she truly wants all this time. She is starting to learn to trust me and reveal her secret, which I believe will lead to the truth, the answer that I have set my eyes for my whole life…

So I think, my dear readers, that it’s
time for you to go dig out the real you who have been living inside you forever, and ask him/her for the truth you so desperately want all these years. I am quite sure that will help you find out the answer on “how to live my life to the fullest”.

Have a meaningful week ahead!

I am Grateful for Everything Happened in My Life, Good or Bad.

LIFE is full of HOPE!

Couple days ago I had a huge revelation. I mean, life-changing kind. And I would like to share with you all here.

I don’t know how many of you have been reading my posts, and how much you might have realized that I had this constant battle between moving on with my past and struggling with it. By “my past” I mean my upbringing, my past relationship with my parents, especially that with my father. I know I know, this topic has been old, but please, bear with me for a while here. I promise this is most likely the last post I would ever write on this topic here.

Like I said in my previous post, I finally came to understanding that I needed to accept who I was. Now, this time it’s really different. During lunch with my parents a couple days back, I suddenly had this idea popped up in my head: I had been so lucky to have all these wonderful things in my life that I didn’t realize! Thanks to my parents, I got to study what I loved, I had the eye-opening chance to study abroad, to travel across countries during my study and with work which was also what I studied and was passionate about, to continue to see this world by making money with my passion, to connect with people of different nationalities and backgrounds as well as to create my own community through learning languages, reading, writing and my work. Why did I think life had been unfair to me? I should be feeling grateful for everything my wonderful parents who came from a poor background had provided me through hard work and perseverance, and above all, through love. I would be such an ungrateful person if I still thought they should have given me more and brought me up differently! I finally accepted that this had always been who I had been, and I was and still am loved by my parents dearly, and that there needed not be anything to be changed whatsoever. And now with all the experiences and knowledge that I have gained from the past, I am fully ready and charged to become the new me. The metamorphosis has begun!

I am grateful for everything happened in my life, whether it be good or bad, joyful or painful. I accept the way it was and I have moved on. I accept that it had made me a better person, equipped me for who I am now, so that I can help and inspire others to let go of their past and transform themselves into better versions of their own!

Now would you all excuse me, but I will have to retreat and create a better version of myself as well, by getting a good night’s rest before the big day tomorrow! (not wedding!)

Ciao for now, enjoy your weekend and above all, enjoy your LIFE, because it’s so precious and beautiful, every minute of it.

Love & Peace, SelfWonder x

Stop complaining and start living !

Life is Beeeeautiful! La vie est très très belle!

There were times I felt that life was unfair for me. I wished I were born in a wealthier and more educated family, that I were raised by a pair of more caring and loving more encouraging and less abusive parents, that I were
given more opportunities while young to learn, explore and see the world, etc etc. I felt jealous when I saw others had more resources and were grown up with better background. I just wished I were given the same that I knew I could have achieved even more than them…

But those wishes are over. First is that I know and accept that life is indeed unfair. How about those children who are growing up in third world countries, with extreme poverty and even worse, in war zone day in and day out, with no clear water, no electricity, no food, no safety, and no education? Perhaps even without parents? How about those women, who are looked down as the second class citizens, who are threatened, punished or even killed when raped? Do I have more to complain about now?

I know, I was lack of many things, yet I also know, I have a lot to be thankful for. I remember my mother used to say to me whenever I felt frustrated with where my life was going, “you are not at the bottom of the pyramid, and you are not at the top. You are in much better position than many people.” To that I annoyingly replied, “yes mother that is true, but you cannot compare me to those at the bottom! I want to be better and go up and higher!” I was always very grumpy and upset when things did not go exactly the way I wanted them to be.
Last night, after dinner with my parents, I suddenly said to my mother, “I think I am alright. I look okay, I have a decent work and income, I get to do things and travel when I like to, I have many basic needs covered. I think I have a good life: I am quite satisfied and I should be content and grateful at this stage, although certainly I still want to and would improve myself in many ways.” I could tell that my mother was a little surprised by my comments, to which she responded with a gentle nod of consent.

I am still from time to time dissatisfied with many aspects of my life and myself: the way I look, the body I have, the career I take, the relationships I am in… Nonetheless, in the middle of this dissatisfaction and the swirl of this chaotic world, I know very well that, there is so much that I should be and am grateful for, that I have a wonderful life, because, I get to live, I get to breathe, I get to see, hear and feel; I get to enjoy my life on my own and share it with others, and, I get to write it down for you to read here. Life is absolutely amazing and fantastic this way, don’t you think so?

I hope you are all having an awesome week!

The story of a baguette

A couple weeks ago, I accidentally stumbled into a little endearing cake shop when I was looking for a café for a nice cup of cappuccino and to wind down after some stressful work.
I was hesitant to walk in at first (because I didn’t want to have desserts), however, I was attracted by the clean yet elegant dècor of the shop. I stood in front of the lovely cake display, trying to resist the temptation of consuming any of them. My strong will against such temptation was tested by the pastry chef, whom to me initially seemed cool and well composed, yet later was completely warmed up and excited when started her detailed description about each of her creation: the lovely cakes.

To be honest, I wasn’t in the mood for any of the cakes, despite the fact that they all looked so pretty. But as the chef enthusiastically told me the ideas she created and the little steps she took behind each cake creation, I found all of them so deliciously enticing that I just wanted to try them all! The passion infused in her talk showed me her seriousness in creating her ideas and tremendous effort in making her dreams come true. Such passion resonated well inside me too, reminding me that there were still people out there fighting for their dreams every single day.

I could not resist the temptation but to have a baguette. It was wonderful, one of the few best baguettes I have ever had.

What are your dreams and how do you fight for them? Or have you forgotten what they are and hidden them somewhere deep inside you unrealized?

I hope you all have a productive week ahead, getting closer and closer to make your dreams come true!