Live. Love. Matter.

Today I want to share with you all this message today:


Live. Love. Matter.

– by Brendon Burchard


I know, this guy might sound a bit repetitive and too energetic and positive to the point annoying at times, but hey, I think it really works, at least for him, and I believe for a lot of his readers like me as well.

His recurring idea is, “At the end of our lives, we are going to ask ourselves these three questions:”


Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?


If you are going to watch only one video of his, this is it: here you go:
Brendon Burchard


(Anyway, the other videos of his are quite redundant after a while.)


I also found this other video on another website, but this site posts clearly the ten points from the video so if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing you can still benefit from reading the mina points quickly):


https://www.briantracy.com/blog/business-success/brendon-burchard-asks-did-i-live-did-i-love-did-i-matter/


So, that’s what I have been thinking, what is my niche, what is my expertise, what should I be doing or changing to become bigger and more inspiring to other people and make a difference to the world?

It turns out I don’t have to move away from what I am already doing and what I already know. I only have to focus on it and become the expertise that everyone goes to.

And you know how I discovered that? I asked for help. By talking about it with other people who knows you and in the business, they helped me clarify my ideas. Instead of trying to figuring out all by myself in my head and do things on my own, I took time to clear my mind and discuss with others. That was such an awesome mind-blowing experience. Now I know what to do! Hurray!!

I believe everyone has a mission in life, only s/he hasn’t found out what it is yet. Keep searching, at the same time keep living. Focus on this moment, right here right now. When you worry too much about the future, it makes your head even more messed up. I’ve been there, done it, and am trying not to go there that often!

You all have a fantastic weekend, you lovely people out there! SelfWonder xoxo

Let things unfold in their own terms.

Should we trust our own instinct?

Sometimes I just feel like doing whatever I feel like doing. Or more than sometimes. More like a lot of the times. Other times I just try to control myself not doing the things I feel like doing because I feel they might be wrong and I might feel bad later after having them done.

Sometimes I wonder, what is wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Do others feel like this all the time too, all this ups and downs emotion like roller coaster? Or is it an excuse for being an artist, I just have to feel like this for the sake of my art?

I don’t know. I don’t really have an answer for that. I just want to feel more stable emotionally. But I do feel sometimes, when I am more calm emotionally with less ups and downs, my creativity suffers a little, or more than a little.

Anyway, that’s just the way life is, isn’t it?

Like the way it says in this book I’ve been reading, the Meditator’s Guide, that change is constant, so it’s part of my life to feel joyful and serene at times and lost and restless at the other. When we accept the constant change of state of mind and emotion instead of trying to stay always in happiness and contentment (because we can never been satisfied all the time, let’s face it), then we will have no more suffering, because we are not trying to be anything. We are just being us and accept the situation as is. Like when we miss someone but we do not want to keep thinking about them, if we force ourselves to not thinking about them, what happens is that we would keep thinking about them and start getting upset or even depressed about why we cannot stop thinking about these people! Instead we should just let this thought happen and watch it rise and fall as is. Just accept its presence, observe it and let it happen. Don’t try to control it. Eventually, you would find it leave quickly as well, much quicker than you try to push it away.

It’s the same for things that we want them to happen. When we keep thinking why they don’t happen just yet, we need to understand things sometimes do not happen at the time we want them to. Of course there are things we need to do sometimes to make the things we want to happen happen. But they still might appear at their own terms, since I am sure these things are not controlled by us who are not the only party of the whole situation here, as there are other parties involved in having those things we want to happen happen as well. So what we can do is to do our best in the situation and just wait. Wait for the other parties to respond and contribute to the situation and make it happen. And in the meantime, forget about when it’s going to happen. Simply let it unfold in its own term, because, sometimes, or most of the time really, when we force something to happen or even just happen earlier, when we desire, we suffer. When we want, we are dissatisfied when our needs are not met. So just try our best, and watch. Let things happen when their time comes. If they happen, great. If they don’t, we did not waste time in worrying about when they would happen between now and then, right?

I hope you all are having a peaceful and mindful week, my wonderful readers.

Focus on what you do want to happen

Dear Readers,

Thank you for reading this post. I just want to share with you this article here:

30 Things You Should Stop Putting Yourself Through

I sincerely urge you to all read it. I find it as a fantastic reminder for me. Here are a few especially great points the writer makes:

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”

The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

…making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world.

And most importantly for me, these two sentences just shone in front of my eyes as I read along, the light bulb in my head immediately lit up:

Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.

So there you go if you don’t have time to read the whole article – but, please do! I am sure you will find it useful too!

Have a wonderful weekend ahead you all lovely readers out there! xoxo 🙂

P.S. Here is a photo from my last adventure hehe ~

I Love Travel Time!

Love is not perfect, but the struggle makes it stronger.

To love or not to love, that is the question.

I just want to say what’s on my mind about you and that’s it. You don’t have to do anything about it. Just please read this through.

I think when two person meet, there is a reason for that. There is already a connection between the two and there is a lesson to learn from each other. From our brief encounter I would say you can be a loving and caring person, but perhaps from your past experience you were hurt and you shut down easily when you encountered some initial failure during our meetings because you wanted to stop being hurt and feeling pain again. You have to know that you are not the only one who is afraid of that feeling. Being vulnerable in love and relationship can be the worst feeling in the world, but without it one will not be able to experience love in its true form. It is indeed a very scary thing. I am afraid of that feeling as well. But I also want to try again and have that true form of love again, no matter how much and/or if it’s going to hurt again. Well I am still scared of that but I am willing to take the risk with the right person.

I know you have the same question,
how do we know if that’s the right person? I don’t know for sure either. But like you said, if you feel that’s the right person, then that’s it. Maybe that’s it, I am not sure myself either. It can be anyone you feel s/he is, you just can never be sure until you really have tried your best to find out. After all, I think, love is a choice. But love is a feeling and faith as well. One has to be brave enough to take that leap of faith and jump right in, and be courageous enough to stick with it and work on it with the other person. Love is a wonderful feeling isn’t it?

You told me you felt empty. I did not forget about the reason why you felt so. But I want to tell you that you do not have to feel that way. You need to love yourself well first. You are a fine person and you really should know and address that in your mind. If you don’t know that then let me tell you again and again: you are a wonderful and loving person, please love yourself first, then start to love others, because you are full of love and are capable of giving and receiving love in return. If you really do not want to feel empty anymore, please, start loving yourself now and start loving the person you want to be in love with. Then, the love you will receive from the one you love shall fill your heart fully, because it is a love of interaction and co-dependence. It is a love of giving and receiving. It is a love of acceptance and forgiveness. It is a love in its true sense of form. Love between two person is not perfect, there is always struggle, we all have to accept that and work with that. But when we stand firm and deal with that struggle with our partner together, we make that love and bond stronger every single day and every single time we tackle a new obstacle. Or at least that is what I believe in.

So there you go. This is pretty much what I wanted to tell you. You gave me something that I thought I would never feel again. For that I thank you. Now good luck and have a good life. I wish you will find your true love. And myself mine as well.

Life Goes On.

Life goes on.

When we ended a relationship, we felt like it was the end of the world, or at least, the end of our own world, the world we used to create with someone who once was in it with us and was so important to us all.

We thought that was it, there was nothing else for us to live on. We cried, we felt excruciating pain, we were devastated, and we were completely lost. We could not eat, we could not sleep. The life we wanted and had was over.

We exhausted all our brain power trying to figure out why the relationship ended, but that answer was never complete or good enough to explain it all.

We gave up on living. We gave on ourselves. We did not know how to continue. We could not see the future. Our worlds seemed to be over.

But as we grow, day after day, week after week, months become year, years turn into three, or five, then we know, pain will eventually go away, people we once loved or connected so much to are not important anymore. In fact, we start to forget about who they once were in the past, because we have someone or something new in the present.

It might sound harsh or cold, but that’s just the fact, and we know every well life goes on, with or without them. So we can cry our hearts out, binge eat or lose our appetite, drink till we drop or stay sober, sleep like we are in a coma or stay awake every single night until the daybreak, we know, one day, things will get back to normal, because, life must go on. Because, we eventually realize that our lives are more precious to live them than waste them. Because, there are always inevitable and constant changes in our lives, and we cannot control a lot of them. Therefore, instead of fighting against them, we have to learn to embrace them. We have to take them all in. We let the changes happen, and knowing that sometimes, giving in may just be the better way of letting life take its course.

I hope you all have a great start of the week.

I am the one and only. So are you.

You are the one and only.

I am the one and only. So are you.

I am precious and special. So are you, my dear.

I am loving and caring, cold outside but warm inside. And so are you, my darling.

I am passionate yet gentle. So are you, my love.

I am sensitive and emotional, seemingly aloof yet vulnerable deep down.  So are you,  my honey.

Do you understand and know that we are so alike?

Can we come to the conclusion that we are the same kind of person and we need a lot of patience and effort in order to be together ? Perhaps like you said, strong will? That is if we really want to, both of us. We need to work together to make this happen, to make us happen. But I do think, if we try and make it happen, it can be so right and so very good, so very good…

I am the one and only. And so are you.

Maybe I was wrong.

Love is Hard.

I guess I thought I had been right all along, my darling.

I thought it had been your fault, that you were being defensive, sensitive, emotional, and cowardly, that you were the one who did not open up to me. I did not understand why you were being silent and cold, that you could be so sweet at times and aloof at other. I thought that was why we did not get along.

Now I have the moment to sit alone, to think and feel. I start to wonder, maybe, just maybe, it’s me too? Maybe, just maybe, I am also being too hard on you, by acting a little defensive, sensitive, emotional and cowardly to you too?

You said, it shouldn’t be so hard right from the start already. I thought so too. But, now I come to think of it, maybe, just maybe, it should be. Relationship is hard, it’s never easy. If we want easy, we go to the bar and hook up with someone. That, is easy, and fun, and you don’t have to deal with that person the day after. And then, you can always find someone new day after day, night after night. But that, is not a relationship. At least, not a relationship that we both want, with each other.

I know, you have retrieved your emotion from me. I could feel it the other night as we walked back to my place, you were there physically, but not emotionally for me anymore. The connection was paused, or even stopped. Now I wonder, would you ever start that connection we once had again?

I get it. It is possible that we are not made for each other. But, I still think, we should give us one more try. That is, if you want to too. If not, I will not force you. I will let you go and find the one who is better for you.

For me, I want someone to stay for the long haul. So I need someone who is strong enough to face the constant challenges in a long-term relationship. I want a life partner, who is going to be there for me for both the good times and the bad times, and me him as well. I would understand if you are not the one for me and me you. Then, we should part our ways civilly, because after all, we are adults, we can be mature like that, can’t we?

Still, I feel, there is something between us unresolved. I do wonder, what is it you want to talk to me about?

Was I wrong about me, or was I wrong about us? …

I hope I get my answer very soon.

Love is Hard. Relationship is Harder.

I care, I do.

We=Relationship

I care, I do.

I do care about you, my dear.

I want you to know that I am always here for you, even you are not there for me in return most of the time.

I want to show you that I care for you, even you might not care that I do.

Don’t you know, l want you to show me that you care for me too, because, I feel, you do, at least a little?…

People say, they don’t have to spend time with those they care that much that frequently, as long as they are there for them, because they are too busy with their own daily lives. I say that’s nonsense. If you don’t spend time with those you love and say that you care, they would not know you do concern about them.

One should never be too busy for those s/he loves.

So, let me tell you this once again, I do care about you very much, and I hope you do too. And if you still care about me, I will continue to show you my love, my support and my care towards you. I will let you know I am always here whenever you need me. Because, I love you, my dear, I truly do.

But you have to tell me you love me too. Do you?…

Relationship of any kind is a two-way street. It takes both ends to make it happen. If you stay, I am in. But if you don’t want it, I am out.

I am still here for you. Just tell me that you need me too.


I care, I do.

 

Is Love too much for us?

Do you believe in LOVE?

I believe there are different kinds of love in different levels and in different stages of our lives.

I believe we all want love. But at the same time, if we have lived our lives, we are afraid of accepting love.

We want to love others and be loved by others. But at the same time, we are afraid of being in and out of love.

I used to think that, each time after I loved and I lost love, there was a hole left in my heart. Then all these holes in my heart stayed, I would feel empty and I could never love again. I could not trust love and simply could not love again anymore.

I used to love without any reserve. Then, I thought, I needed to put some boundaries. I needed to rationalize love before I plunged into it once more.

Now, I believe, I will do that again. I cannot be afraid of loving others and being loved by others. Because, love makes me feel alive.

Because, being in love is such a good feeling.

So maybe, I think, maybe, I can love again.

Are you afraid of love? And why do you feel that? I would like to know about your thoughts on this, my dear Readers.

Is love real, or is it an illusion??…

I hope you all are having a blessed and lovely week.

Are you ready for your adventure ??

Let our adventure begins !!

We are all too scared sometimes. Too scared of trying, too scared of failing, too worried about what others think and feel and say about us.

But why? Why do we have to care about what others think and feel and do? It’s not that we shouldn’t care about others’ feelings. It’s just that we should not play by others’ rules. We are us. I am me. We can be independent and interdependent and co-dependent with others as the same time no?

And why? Why are we so afraid of trying and failing? What if we try and fail? What if we try and succeed? We never know what the outcome might be unless we try. Then the outcome might be failure, might be success. But even if we fail, we know we’ve tried. And who knows, if we keep trying, one day, just one day, we would succeed? But if we stop, then we would just never know.

Fine, I am afraid too. I am afraid of taking risks. I am so comfortable with what I have and who I am now, why getting through all the effort and trouble and it might not even work at the end?? But I know, I am not that satisfied with the current situation now. It seems lacking of something. Even I am not hundred percent sure what it is, I feel if I get it, I would be so happy, almost euphoric. I mean, I am happy now as who I am, I have worked so very hard to get to where I am at now. Then I got comfortable, too comfortable, and I stopped. I stopped moving forward. I stayed at where I have been the last couple years. I know it’s time to take on something more challenging and run forward. Maybe even fly. I know it’s time for the next adventure. Even I know there might be pain, there might be frustration, there might even be things that I don’t want them to happen to me again. I am wiling to take that risk and dive right in. Because, I know deep inside me, I need this to feel alive. I need this to live my life to the fullest. I need this to keep growing myself and then help others to grow as well. That is the purpose of my life.

I think I am ready. I am jumping right in to my next adventure now. How about you? Are you ready? Are you ready for your next adventure??

Have a blessed and perhaps, adventurous week ahead you all lovely readers out there!!