Metta matters

I often ask myself if I am contributing to better the humanity in the best way possible, the way I can and am supposed to. Am I putting my best effort and my talent/ability to do what I can do? And what exactly is it that I should be doing? Is what I am doing what I should be doing?

Often I am confused. A lot of the times I am not sure. 

Maybe there is no one answer or one truth. Maybe there are more than one path that leads to the answer. Maybe there is no answer at all. Or maybe, when I feel I am doing something right I would know that’s the answer.

I hope to contribute to restore humanity. One thing I do is to be kind to everyone I encounter, stranger or friend or student or parent. Another is to stay positive and spread positive messages across to uplift people’s souls, I think it’s important and particularly useful for those who just have a bad day/time – who doesn’t once in a while? They just need to be reminded that there is hope at the end of that tunnel, however dark or long it seems at times. We need to give each other compassion and hope. And above all, love. Metta – loving kindness. 

Namaste. 

80/20 Principle

“There is no value in doing things you don’t enjoy.

Do the things that you like doing. Make them your job. Make your job them. Nearly everyone who has become rich has had the added bonus of becoming rich doing things they enjoy.”

Isn’t this a simple and almost common sense kind of concept?

Yes, do things we love. But somehow we just don’t do them enough.

Why? Because we have to make a living.

Why can’t we do things we love as a living?

We can! We just have to choose what we really want to do in our lives and make it happen.

Think for a moment what you truly love spending time in. What makes you smile when you think about this? Take a minute or two to really dig deep and think about it, nothing too small or strange or meaningless or useless here. Just something close to your heart and soul, to your core, to your belief, to your hopes and dreams, to your faith, to your life purpose.

Take a deep breathe in. Pause. Wait. It shall come to you.

That one thought would be your true calling.

If it hasn’t come to you yet, it’s ok. Do this exercise often, until you find it. It is important. You know it is, because you have been feeling so lost all these years haven’t you? Going in to the office day by day, month by month, year by year, and you feel, nothing, but exhaustion and frustration.

Some of you might be better, not exactly feeling so bad, but not exactly feeling so great either, no? Don’t you want to feel hopeful going to bed at night so that you wake up fully rested in the next morning feeling excited about going to work? Have you ever felt that way about your work? Or simply, your life?

If you have never felt this way, my friend, this is wrong way of living. I am not saying wrong to criticize how you do this, but you have not been treating yourself kindly. You deserve better treatment, and you are responsible for taking care of yourself to live the way you want to live, to have a life you want to have, to have a job you want to go work at.

It is your life in the making, every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month, every year. It’s slipping away through your fingers, are you still waiting for some magic or miracle, a lottery, to help you get out of this situation you so not want to be in?

Let me remind you, my friend, you chose to stay. In fact, you are still choosing it.

Not changing the situation you are in is a choice. You have chosen to stay in the rut.

Maybe you think I am being harsh. In fact, I am being compassionate and concerned about your well being.

I don’t want you to feel like this anymore. I don’t.

Let’s start a revolution here. Let’s start a new chapter in our lives together. Together we can. Shall we?

I am going to share more with you my readings and thoughts to empower you so you too can find your purpose and happiness in life, because, as I mentioned earlier, and I would like to stress again,

YOU DESERVE IT.

Namaste,

Self Wonder.

Karma will get you no matter when you go.

I believe in karma.

If you have done something harmful to someone, someone else will do something harmful to you in a similar way in no time.

People think they could get away with what they have done, thinking no one caught them doing it. They are secretly happy, and actually proud of themselves doing things that have harmed others.

I want to tell them that, no one ever gets away with the horrible things they have done, ever. Eventually the reality will catch up with them, and one way or the other they will get the similar things from someone they know and trust. Because karma is a bitch. Or a donkey hole.

Namaste.

SelfWonder

Love is love is love

Love is love is love

Love is inexplicable. 

You love a song, a book, a hobby, a place, a person. 

Yes you can explain in great details why you love them, the most technical analytical way.

But at the end of the day, it all comes down to the feeling, the sensation inside your body they have given you. the chill and the joy you feel when you think about them or best,  experience them. 

There is this exhilarating joy you don’t even know where it comes from. But you feel it and it is real to you. You don’t even know how to describe it exactly to anyone else, but certainly those who have experienced that feeling would understand it in their own way.

There is also this true sense of pure contentment about life. You feel complete and whole. You feel life is so great, and you are invincible. You never feel so alive before. Now you know how to live for the first time.

You find love is real, even the finding seems unreal to you. You live in a paradise right now you never knew it existed.

Suddenly everything is perfect and nothing can get to you. You are just so happy and content you don’t even bother to have a small cringe on your face. You just can’t.

Your mouth is in the constant state of curling up. Somehow it doesn’t know how to curl down at its two corners anymore. You are simply too happy to do so.

Your heart is pure and its in its right place. It’s calm and it’s passionate and its full and its clear. Mostly it’s beating as hard as it has ever been. It’s alive!

Love is love is love is love is love.  It is explicable and it is inexplicable.

Namaste.

SelfWonder

I am worth my own while.

 

I might have told you many times that I loved Christmas. It is true that I love it so much more than any other holiday seasons throughout the year. Christmas is a time when family – the whole family, the extended families and all – comes together and celebrate. For me, it is not about celebrating Christmas, it is about celebrating Family. Family is about love, sharing, and caring for one another. Family is precious. Perhaps because I never had what I really wanted in a family, it is for me a very special at the same time unavoidably sensitive and emotional topic.

The first morning when I woke up in a foreign country for my Christmas holiday, I had this revelation: I never took myself seriously enough. What I mean is, I never took myself seriously enough for joy and love. I never loved myself and took care of myself seriously. I thought it was not necessary to be comfortable, to ask for what I wanted and go for it. I never took myself seriously enough to try to find someone who was serious enough to love me and be loved by me seriously. Or friends who were worth my while to maintain a true Friendship with. Or go for my passion for what was truly worth my while to fight for and stick with it. I doubted it at the first sign of failure. I left when I felt hurt and that I might not be good/talented enough for the person/my passion. In short, I gave up too easily because I was not sure if it was worth it. 

But this morning, I understood, I AM WORTH IT. I am the only one who is responsible for my own happiness and success in my life. And no one is going to take me seriously if I do not take myself seriously enough in the first place. And for what it is worth, it means from being in a relationship with a friend, to a staff, to a student, to a family member and to a life partner. I did not have the ability or feel I had the worth to ask for what I truly wanted from others because I never took myself seriously enough for others to see what I was truly worth for. And when I say what I was truly worth for, it does not mean in a monetary value. It means I have to honestly display who I am and what I want and ask for the kind of respect I need in a calm, polite, as- a – matter- of -fact way, because that is just what I want and need. 

For all that to happen, I have to start taking myself seriously from now on. For the time I have left in my life ahead, I want to truly live it and go for it, because I am worth it. I am worth my own while to live it. 

Maybe that is what the true purpose of life truly is. 

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, my dear Readers. And thanks for reading.

Namaste.

Self Wonder x

It’s time to stop running.

Fight for what you want.

Not because for anyone.

But for yourself.

Understand sometimes, when you love someone, it doesn’t mean you stay with him/her.

Understand sometimes, it means you set him/her free exactly because you love him/her and want him/her to be truly happy.

Understand sometimes, there are circumstances that are out of your control and you just have to accept the way they are. And be okay with it.

Loving someone does not mean you stay with that someone forever.

Truly loving someone means you do what is best for that someone, even if it hurts you to the core. But you still do it because of that love you share/d.

Accept that there is not always happiness.

And that true happiness includes occasional sorrow.

There is no joy without pain.

Deal with it. Accept it.

Know that everything is permanently impermanent.

Enjoy the permanence while you are at it.

Love when you can. Live when you can. Fully, contentedly, purposefully.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am glad I was abused.

I was trashed to the bottom.

I was called “stupid”, I was told “worthless”, I thought I was ugly.

For the longest time I thought I really was good for nothing and no one, not even for myself.

Who the hell was I? I was nobody. Even later in my life people had been telling me how great I was, I didn’t believe in them.

Because I didn’t believe in ME.

With years of working with myself, working through the past, understanding how I really was, I knew, I knew I was great.

Yet, sometimes, I went back to thinking, hmm maybe I was not.

But not anymore now. I am done.

And I am truly glad that I had a horrible scarred past.

I am glad that I was abused and hurt deeply.

You know why?

Because, what didn’t kill me did make me stronger.

I have done my work with my past.

I have become increasingly resilient.

I bounce back quicker and quicker from downfall.

I shut down enemies’ unsubstantiated attack , fake friends’ deceitful concern, and liars’ tempting lures.

I know my worth, my strength, my ability, and my purpose.

If you are at the state of self-doubt/lost/unsure of yourself, your life or your purpose, watch this movie. I am sure you are not as bad as where she was.

Ok, maybe you are not as intelligent as she is, or you don’t want to go to Harvard (!), but you know, you have been given LIFE, and what it will turn out from now on is up to YOU. And you are the one who can make a GREAT LIFE ahead. There is plenty of TIME for you to live a purposeful, wonderful life for YOURSELF.

So please, again, watch the whole movie. Have some patience to watch through especially the beginning, which is a little slow, but important, as you can have (if only) a little taste of what she had gone through in her childhood.

I hope to be as resilient as Liz is.

Peace, people,

Self Wonder x

 

(“) True Love (“)

Yes, sorry but I am being cheesy tonight.

I just watched this beautiful movie called “Love, Rosie”. I mean, I am sure I’ve heard of this film a while ago, and I was going to see it (I think it’s more like my dear Mom asked me to go see it with her!). But somehow, I (and my dear Mom) did not watch it.

Tonight, as I was getting a little moody on my own, I watched it online. And it was thought-provoking to say the least.

I get it. When you met someone when you were younger, how did you know if he or she would be the one already? I mean, at the tender age of freaking five?? Consider yourself lucky ! But then you really would have no idea whatsoever. And when that person had become your best friend ever, the last thing you wanted to do would be to ruin it with what, sudden infatuation and lust? No way!

But then life moved on, time drifted by. Girl met another boy(s), boy met another girl(s). They never met again at the right time and the right place. I do think that happens to people, perhaps even more than one imagines.

After watching this movie though (go figure about the ending if you haven’t watched it), I start to wonder, perhaps I should not (or never) give up/give in to finding that person. In fact, I have the most outrageous experience and feelings recently even I could not believe it would ever happen to me again. I mean, I didn’t think I could feel like that ever again, or if I had ever felt so strongly about someone before. Amazing… Maybe all hopes are not lost after all.

Self Wonder x

An Imaginary Ad for What I want

When I think about people/relationship/attitude/situation, I always start with what I don’t want, and most likely just stop there.

Today I want to try writing down things that I want.

So here you go.

I want:

1. A Life with Purpose

Yes I would like to think it does matter. Certainly one can live just to pass the days, but for me it just seems to be boring and meaningless. And by having a purpose I don’t mean you have to have a crazy ambitious goal like becoming the new CEO of Google (btw the new one seems pretty awesome), but if you want to that’s also great! You might want to be a loving partner /friend /parent, be responsible for your work, have a cause to protect the environment/animals, advocate gay rights/women rights, become a great writer/spiritual leader/Hollywood star… I mean the choices there are endless! You just have to pick a cause and try hard at it. Give it a go. Give yourself a chance.

So I guess the next is –

2. A Life with Courage

I don’t want to live in fear -whether it be fear of failure /embarrassment /getting hurt physically or emotionally /losing something or someone – anymore. Life is worth taking a risk. In fact, a life well lived depends on it. Your life is worth that risk you are dying to take. Try it. Maybe it’s something for fun, some project at work, someone you fancy, someone you miss/want to make up with. Just go for it/him/her already! Nothing to lose really. But if you miss that chance you have right now, you really might not get it back (trust me on this one, you most likely don’t, ever, again, scary isn’t it). Try it and you can leave it all behind if it didn’t work out at the end, knowing that you have tried it would certainly make you feel good with a smile on your face when you think about it 🙂

3. A Life with Adventure

I want to take more risk. Have more fun. Meet new friends. Travel new places. Try new cuisines. Listen to new music. Have new experience, big or small. I just want my life to be awesome and full of interesting experiences and stories to tell later on, to my readers at least! And have something of reminiscent quality for my older self when I am in my 70s hahaha.

4. A Life with Love
Ok, I am guilty at fault about such topic in the department of romantic love. But hey, I am also talking about self-love which is of the utmost importance! Then it’s family love, friends’ love, and for me, I don’t know how to put it, but let’s just say community love- a love that is connected through a cause, a belief in something, a love in something that is of tremendous importance to me and the people concerned, and with that we create love among us.

And of course, love for music and arts. Love for freedom and creativity. Love for free thinking and writing. Love for the nature, the sky, ocean, trees, butterflies and cats haha. They are all so beautiful.

Now suddenly I can see and feel, I have a wonderful life living already and ahead. You see, it’s always good to write it all out and share with others. Because when you are generous with beautiful,
positive and encouraging thoughts to others in words (written or spoken), you always, and I say always, receive something back, maybe even more you can imagine.

Peace. Namaste.
Self Wonder x

Thank you for your support, my dear.

I like what you wrote to me the other day.

“I am not just in for the good times. I am on for the bad times too.”

I was truly touched. Really, I mean, I just thought, I must be of value to someone in order for people to stay around. At least that was how I was brought up to believe. And even though I seem to have broken myself away from my past, it still tries to haunt me somehow, from very very far away.

I knew you had been good to me, but I did not think you would say that to me.

Now I know, even no one is around, I know you are there for me. Because you are in this with me. I am not alone here 🙂

Self Wonder x