There were times I felt that life was unfair for me. I wished I were born in a wealthier and more educated family, that I were raised by a pair of more caring and loving more encouraging and less abusive parents, that I were
given more opportunities while young to learn, explore and see the world, etc etc. I felt jealous when I saw others had more resources and were grown up with better background. I just wished I were given the same that I knew I could have achieved even more than them…
But those wishes are over. First is that I know and accept that life is indeed unfair. How about those children who are growing up in third world countries, with extreme poverty and even worse, in war zone day in and day out, with no clear water, no electricity, no food, no safety, and no education? Perhaps even without parents? How about those women, who are looked down as the second class citizens, who are threatened, punished or even killed when raped? Do I have more to complain about now?
I know, I was lack of many things, yet I also know, I have a lot to be thankful for. I remember my mother used to say to me whenever I felt frustrated with where my life was going, “you are not at the bottom of the pyramid, and you are not at the top. You are in much better position than many people.” To that I annoyingly replied, “yes mother that is true, but you cannot compare me to those at the bottom! I want to be better and go up and higher!” I was always very grumpy and upset when things did not go exactly the way I wanted them to be.
Last night, after dinner with my parents, I suddenly said to my mother, “I think I am alright. I look okay, I have a decent work and income, I get to do things and travel when I like to, I have many basic needs covered. I think I have a good life: I am quite satisfied and I should be content and grateful at this stage, although certainly I still want to and would improve myself in many ways.” I could tell that my mother was a little surprised by my comments, to which she responded with a gentle nod of consent.
I am still from time to time dissatisfied with many aspects of my life and myself: the way I look, the body I have, the career I take, the relationships I am in… Nonetheless, in the middle of this dissatisfaction and the swirl of this chaotic world, I know very well that, there is so much that I should be and am grateful for, that I have a wonderful life, because, I get to live, I get to breathe, I get to see, hear and feel; I get to enjoy my life on my own and share it with others, and, I get to write it down for you to read here. Life is absolutely amazing and fantastic this way, don’t you think so?
I hope you are all having an awesome week!
Self Wonder 
I think everyone in this world ( whether they are rich, poor, beautiful or ugly, smart or stupid) have things to complain about or things to be happy about. It is just the way you see things. You could see other people having more stuff than you and some will always have, but you don’t actually know if they are happy with themselves. For example, lots of women are jealous of Angelina Jolie and a lot of men want to be with her, but I remember how in an interview she said she was ashamed of her feet and hands because they were too big. I myself got compliments from some girl friends telling me how I am beautiful, while I was surprised thinking my nose made my face look ugly ( because it has certain shape) or thinking that no way, my face is too common! At the same time I had people in my life telling me I am ugly and I have an ugly nose or stupid hairdo. In time I learned to love myself and in the end it is all about confidence and not about your background or money. There are people that have lots of money and fame and suffer from depression. Why do you think there are so many Hollywood starts that take drugs and alcohol? I read Robbie Williams’s story and how he suffered from depression for years. And yet I thought how lucky he is and I wished to have his money, until I found out about his disease. I guess it’s all about being grateful for what you have and enjoy life how you can.
I remember how I talked to my friend now ( we both have jobs, cars, etc) and said how we used to be so happy when we were students and we were so poor that we didn’t have money for clothes or having haircuts (my hair was reaaally long) but we were so much happier than now. I am content with my life now, but being a student meant being really free, having no responsibilities.
Right on girl! I hear you, and I feel the same about most of they things you’ve mentioned here. Indeed it’s all about how you view yourself and are confident about who you are instead of worry about what the others think and say about you. Yes I know some really wealthy and successful people are actually not happy or even are depressed! I think it’s because they forget or don’t know what really leads to happiness is the basics: love, friendship and family, and basic needs really. The material things on top are just icing on the cake 🙂 thanks for your comments, I truly appreciate that you are sharing your thoughts with me here! SelfWonder x 😀