I had sat here. Many a times.
Half of those times, I was with someone else. Different people.
The other half of them, I was alone.
Half of those times, I was sad. Crying. Full of pain.
The other of them, I was calm. Smiling. As contented as I could ever be. Whether I was alone or with someone. Half of the times I was suffering. The other half, rejoicing.
No matter I was alone or with someone. I still felt empty. Hollow inside. Something was missing. Something inside me was lacking. I wondered what that was. I had certainly looked for it. Searched for it. Gone after it. Thought that was what I needed to fill up that space inside me. At first they all seemed to fit, and I kept them there filled with rejoice. But after a while, three years, three months, three weeks, they seemed to erode. They struggled with the boundary of that empty space. They twisted and turned inside that space. They had to get out of that space. Or I had to take them out, all so reluctantly and disappointedly.
Self Wonder 